Essential K-Pop Songs of 2015

The time has come to share more music randomness from South Korea. This year was tougher than last to sort out the top five slots. There was so much variety and throwbacks to decades past that incorporated old and new genres that I love. Like last year I wanted to highlight a few songs and the artists that made an impression on me. I hope you find something here that entertains you.

Do not be afraid, my friends. The whole point of this list is to present something unfamiliar that you wouldn't have discovered otherwise. Let's go!

5)Wonder Girls - I Feel You

Album: Reboot

Back in 2007, Wonder Girls was perhaps the first k-pop group that I became familiar with and they dominated the airwaves in Korea with some catchy hits. Over the years some members changed, others worked on solo projects for a while, and the group went on hiatus in 2013. They reformed this year as a four member band with an 80's concept, playing instruments for the first time as part of their performance.

I was happy and surprised to find an upbeat number with a music video that captures the neon haze and ridiculous glam of the eighties so well. Even the production quality and mix feels very true to form for the retro sound. Plus, there's something very entertaining to me about a girl performing rigid dance steps in heels and one-piece swimwear while jamming on a keytar. If any of this rings your bell I highly recommend checking out their entire eighties themed album Reboot that features this song. It's a solid eighties concept album that does everything from Madonna-esque dance pop to darker synth-rock, and the whole thing sounds truly truly truly outrageous.

4)Lim Kim - Awoo

Album: Simple Mind

There's something so lovely about Lim Kim's voice. Her breathy singing is unique - often ethereal - and I've enjoyed every song she's put out. So I was thrilled to see her release a full album this year.

"Awoo" has a less than conventional sound with its up and down pitched melody, and simple bass line, but it's that voice that makes it so pleasant and pulls the whole thing together. So many of the tracks on the album are a dreamlike experience, with her quiet voice guiding you over heavy electro beats. I highly recommend listening to it as you drift off to sleep.

If you ask me what is supposed to be going on in the video, it's hard to say. There seems to be a teasing theme going on, and Lim Kim acting like a cat, but besides that I don't have a clue. It's very colourful, well produced, and suits the unusual sound of the song. Like a lot of Korean music, it's the quirkiness that draws you in, and Lim Kim is a talent to watch.

3)Hyukoh - Hooka

Album: 22
Hyukoh is a four member indie band that have been part of the underground music scene for a couple years, but really gained wider success this year with multiple hits. Oh Hyuk, the leader of the band, has been especially busy collaborating with other singers and producers throughout the year and he has lent his soulful vocals to several songs that I love.

While there were other songs for Hyukoh that peaked higher on the Korean music charts in 2015, "Hooka" was the one that I kept coming back to again and again for its chill intro that builds into a solid blues rock tune. The style and especially the chorus reminds me of The Doors, but I have no idea where the band draws their inspiration. I haven't gotten that specific vibe from any other tracks.

Many of their songs have both English and Korean lyrics, but the English is easy to miss because of pronunciation and unclear meaning. I don't consider it a downside, but just an element of their style. In "Hooka" the harsh pronunciation adds intensity as the song progresses.

All in all, Hyukoh is band I'm excited to see more from in the new year. I think you'll agree.

2)Brown Eyed Girls - Brave New World

Album: BASIC
In Korea, Brown Eyed Girls have been making an impression on the music scene for a decade now, and the song in question is from their sixth album, proving that these girls are still working hard to be innovative and to last in this competitive industry. You may even be vaguely familiar with them if you happened to watch Psy's follow up song to "Gangnam Style". In his music video for "Gentleman", the core dance choreography is lifted directly from BEG's hit song "Abracadabra". One member of the group, Gain, even appears in the video alongside Psy performing the dance she made famous.

When I first listened to "Brave New World" it caught me a little off guard. The song changes gears throughout and it felt jarring in the beginning. It was on repeat listens that the song took hold in my brain and I could appreciate the brilliant composition.

"Brave New World" opens strong with a throwback sound reminiscent of late 70's Michael Jackson, then quickly shifts into a more modern beat. The instrumentation driving the song is amazing and I love how the contemporary pop elements melds with an underlying orchestral arrangement that's sprinkled with funk and disco. The chorus hits hard with powerful vocals, and then I can't sit still. Later in the song listen at the rap breakdown (at the 3:17 mark) where the song filters down to something new, and then builds back up with strings as the beat returns. Every time I listen I keeping hearing new details.

The music video also fits the song well, with it's futuristic imagery and settings, and the ladies look stunning. Overall the song is excellent for its creative arrangement, the strong vocals, innovative transitions, blending of genres, and wrapping it all up in a stylish presentation. I can't get enough of this song, and I hope you give it a listen, or two.

1)Red Velvet - Dumb Dumb

Album: The Red
Okay you guys, this last one is crazy as fuck. The first viewing is an all out assault on the senses, and the song is wild and bombastic. Red Velvet debuted in 2014 with four members: Irene, Wendy, Seulgi, Joy, and most recently, Yeri joined in 2015. Fun Random Fact: Wendy grew up in Canada from an early age and auditioned here before joining the group.

The music video alone is worth checking out for the insane production value and screwy imagery. You have objects smashing apart in slow-motion, a rag doll robot dance, cloned girls marching down conveyor belts, giant mechanical claw arms, impossible boxes of flailing legs, and so on. Some people say the imagery in the video is depicting the manufactured idols of the Korean pop industry. That would explain the cartoonish factory producing and packaging identical looking girls. In that way Red Velvet could be making a statement about itself as a group and the nature of pop idols in Korea. Or it could just be more typical wacky k-pop stuff.

Despite being a rookie group Red Velvet is quickly gaining success with the release of their first full album The Red. It hit Number One on Billboard's World Albums Chart in September and this video was ranked #9 in Rolling Stone's 'Best Music Videos of 2015'. Honestly, I don't think I listened to another current album - K-pop or otherwise - more than "The Red" this year. It's just that much fun.

"Dumb Dumb" is brassy, experimental, and like the rest of the album, bursting with energy. These girls have real talent, and their vocals shine on every track. If you enjoyed this, then I recommend "Ice Cream Cake" their single from earlier in the year which I feel is easily as good as "Dumb Dumb", but I didn't want a group or artist appearing twice on the list.

It may seem like nothing but flashy nonsense to some, but Red Velvet delivered a crazy upbeat song with a memorable music video, in one of the best top-to-bottom pop albums I've heard in some time. Check it out.

More Mellow Videogame Music

Hey, if it takes just copying a fellow Five-O-Ramaer's list to help keep myself productive, I'm not above that. Ryho's idea of creating a playlist out of some of the more soothing tracks videogames (I follow the EGM example and write it as a single word) have to offer is a good one and I plan to implement it myself.

So here are some of the songs that will definitely be on it.

*note: For this list I selected the in-game versions of these songs, foregoing any remixes or different versions like orchestral, piano solo, etc. just so that those seeing them for the first time could experience them as they are in their respective games. But I encourage you to explore different versions as well.

Here's ryho's list as well.


5. "Lazy Afternoons" (Twilight Town's theme)  - Kingdom Hearts 2 (PS2) - Yoko Shimomura
Huge surprise, me picking a Kingdom Hearts song, I know. But how can a song titled "Lazy Afternoons" NOT be mellow? Backed by soft, elegant guitar  picking with the compulsory strings overlaying as the melody comes on (clarinet in the high registers), the song conveys a definite feeling of warmth and tranquility. That's what summer afternoons have always felt like to me, particularly in the later stages and particularly when I was around the age of the game's main characters.

The song also meshes well with sunsets (I must have experienced a thousand of these in Twilight Town), as it gives you a feeling of something pleasant and peaceful just about drawing to a close. When Roxas says the line "Looks like my summer vacation is over" (in the game, not the song), my heart always breaks a little bit, not just for him and his situation but also for myself, as I recall the summer vacations of my own childhood and their inevitable endings.

4. "Tifa's Theme" - Final Fantasy VII (PSX) -  Nobuo Uematsu
And now a Final Fantasy song. I guess the list isn't shaping up to be very original so far but I can't really help it. I can only assume Ryho left selections from that series off his own list because he figured those soundtracks and Nobuo Uematsu are already extremely well known and celebrated. Whatever his reasons, it was a good call because it introduced me to a couple songs I wasn't familiar with. That said, I still feel I have to put "Tifa's Theme" on here.

Now, there is a difference between songs that are mellow and songs that are more...I'm not sure how to put it, starkly beautiful? Anyway, I think the case of "Tifa's Theme" vs my personal favourite track from FFVII, "Aerith's Theme" provides a good example of that. While "Aerith's Theme" starts off very soft and peaceful, it eventually builds into a crescendo that can literally get your heart racing and give you goosebumps. "Tifa's Theme" remains slow and subdued throughout.

I know it's pretty melancholy, which is itself somewhat different from mellow, but I still feel it belongs here. "Farm Boy", also from FFVII, might have been the more obvious choice since it's pretty much all laid back peaceful days without any sadness, but I think for myself personally, I almost prefer a bit of sadness, as this list will reflect.

Much of the mood of this song is based on Tifa's past, growing up with Cloud, starting to have feelings for him that went beyond friendship, and the realization that she's going to lose him. Even though they're reunited after six years, she still carries this feeling (and this song) with her because, in many ways, the Cloud she knew and loved never really came back. Maybe by the game's finale he's actually become a stronger, better Cloud but still I think she yearns for the boy she knew in Nibelheim, when they were both innocent.

3. "Soft Tones On The Sea Breeze" - Lunar: Silver Star Harmony (PSP) -  Noriyuki Iwadare
Once again, with a title like that, how could this song be anything but mellow? Lunar's major theme is music (the other is love) so its soundtrack is even more prominent and important than in most other games. So it's no surprise that it's one of the very best game soundtracks out there. And as far as songs that are mellow go, I'd say nearly half of them would qualify as such. I re-listened to them all and picked what I feel is the best of the bunch. Like many others in the game, the song is carried by a combination of strings and ocarina. I actually do prefer the piano solo version though.

Silver Star Harmony is, of course, the second remake of Lunar the Silver Star (Sega CD), the first being Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete (PSX). Additional music was added with each remake but I do recall this track was in Silver Star Story Complete as well and while I've never played the original game (although I'd buy a Sega CD just so I could), I can't imagine it not being on the original soundtrack (although it isn't listed on the soundtrack that was sold separately). In any case I've selected the newest version of the song for this list.

Listening to this song is a bit like wandering along a deserted beach in a dream. If that's not mellow, I don't know what is.

2." Xion's Theme" - Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days (Nintendo DS) -  Yoko Shimomura
Ok, let's face it: for me, "mellow' is rarely just laid back and peaceful, it also has to be heartbreaking as all hell. It's just how I'm wired, I guess.

"Heartbreaking as all hell" is definitely what's required if you're going to compose a theme for Xion, as she is easily one of the most tragic characters in all of videogames. Like a lot of people, I was first introduced to Roxas, the main character of 358/2 Days, in Kingdom Hearts 2. You play his little bit and it's definitely sad. But then to play 358/2 Days is that much more heartwrenching. For those who haven't played it, I won't spoil anything specific but I do think it's fair to warn you that if you have any kind of a soul, by the time its end credits are running, you're going to be feeling a sadness and emptiness that will cling to you for days. But it's worth it.

The song is structured around a slow and sombre piano part with drifting strings eventually overlaying. An echo-y, xylophone punctuates the melody later on and things eventually get downright Chrono Trigger-esque in the middle. The juxtaposition of high notes over low without ever really much in the middle registers adds to the dreamlike quality - doubly important in this game as its major themes are highly existential and identity-based.

As sad as this song and game make me, it's important for me to relive it. That way, Xion and Roxas will always live on in my own heart.

1. "Smiles and Tears" - Earthbound (SNES) -  Keiichi Suzuki and Hirokazu Tanaka
One of the greatest videogame soundtracks of all time - featuring tons and tons of awesome songs - requires a pretty amazing tune for its ending and "Smiles And Tears" certainly doesn't disappoint. Like most good videogame music, it's really best experienced within the game but I'll let you cheat and hear it here. Just know that within the context of finishing the crazy, emotional, funny, surprising, post modern experience that is Earthbound is really the way to go. Of course it's too good of a song to limit yourself to just this rare occurrence, I know. But believe me when I say you owe it to yourself to play through this game in its entirety if you never have before. And if you have, you need to do it again. Even twenty years after its release, it remains a truly unique game, memorable for its visual style, unconventional storytelling, philosophical themes and, of course, brilliant music.

As I said, as a final track, "Smiles and Tears" doesn't disappoint. It carries within it many elements of the songs you've heard throughout the game so, while something wholly different than what came before, still feels very familiar. Hearing it for the first time is like hearing this melody that's been with you the whole time but just under the surface. It's new to you and yet it's like you already know its every note.

One of the more pronounced and obvious themes (of which there are many, some less obvious) of Earthbound is childhood and it's expressed musically (and in other forms as well) beautifully throughout the game at various points. But the ending is where it all comes together. The first time I beat it (seems so weird to me to still use such terminology; the best games out there you don't "beat", you just complete the experience; it's not about winning - too bad Roger Ebert never wrapped his fat head around that) and this song began to play, I felt all the emotions the game had spurred in me during my journey: joy, mirth, longing, sadness, regret, vulnerability and more, all come washing over me. By the time we hear Shigesato Itoi's voice (a very surprising phenomenon on the SNES) utter the words "I miss you", it almost became too much for me. But that was just right. As I've said, it's the way I'm wired.



RIP Satoru Iwata

Mellow Video Game Music

I often find the stresses of my job, and day-to-day life, can be soothed almost instantly by the right song. I've created a playlist of music that helps me mellow out and it is entirely comprised of tunes I've picked up over my many years of gaming. I thought I'd share some of those songs, so kick up your feet and get ready to chill!

5. "The Starlit Wilds" - Shovel Knight (Wii U) - Jake Kaufman

I've written about how much I enjoyed last year's retro indie release Shovel Knight in my last list, so check that out for more on the game. I mentioned in that list how much I enjoyed the music in Shovel Knight, but there was always one song in particular that stood out above the rest.

"The Starlit Wilds" was the music that accompanied all of the campfire scenes in the game (you'll have to play it to know what I mean!) and every time I made it to one of those moments I would instantly relax and take in the pseudo 8-bit world of Shovel Knight. It's a really beautiful piece from Jake Kaufman aka virt. I'd never heard of his name before Shovel Knight, but he's been in the business since 2000's remake of Q*Bert.

I don't know if there are plans for a Shovel Knight sequel at Yacht Club Games, but I'd love more retro-inspired games with music from Mr. Kaufman!

4. "Colony 9/Night" - Xenoblade Chronicles (Wii) - Yoko Shimomura

Although I loved my Nintendo Wii from the moment I opened it back in 2006, nearing the end of its lifecycle the "Little System That Could" received some serious titles, and none so famous as Xenoblade Chronicles, which many can thank Project Rainfall for having released here in North America.

There is so much to love about Xenoblade Chronicles, but I think anyone playing it for the first time will be gripped by two things: the spanning, gorgeous landscapes and the beautiful orchestral soundtrack that accompanies them.

There are a great many tracks from composer Yoko Shimomura's Xenoblade Chronicles soundtrack that stick out in my mind, but none so beautiful as "Colony 9/Night". It's a moving, calming piece that I typically don't go through my workday without listening to at least once.

Yoko Shimomura has had a mind-blowing career, which includes creating music for such classics as Street Fighter II, Parasite Eve, and the Kingdom Hearts series, but make sure to do yourself a favour and listen to some of the tracks she composed for Xenoblade Chronicles.

3. "Conquest" - Fire Emblem Awakening (3DS) - Hiroki Morishita

Another game to knock my socks off in recent years was 2013's Fire Emblem Awakening on the Nintendo 3DS. I had only played one other Fire Emblem title many years previous on the Gameboy Advance and the time was nigh for a new tactical/strategy RPG experience.

The soundtrack for FE: Awakening has many stand-out titles to choose from, but the moment I heard "Conquest" by composer Hiroki Morishita - whom from what I can tell is a relatively new composer with a handful of Nintendo titles under his belt - I instantly had to search the song out and add it to my aforementioned video game music playlist. In fact, it is the first song I listen to from that playlist daily.

From what I can tell "Conquest" is only played when you take on random encounters with enemies and in some of the DLC battles from FE: Awakening. If you were to play the entire game only battling the story-required fights and didn't play any DLC you might never hear it, which would be a crying shame!

2. "On the Beach of Dreams (Another World)" - Chrono Cross (PSX) - Yasunori Mitsuda 

The first time I played Chrono Cross was with a sense of trepidation. I had a great reverence for Chrono Trigger on the SNES and I knew that this game was not a direct sequel to that, but some sort of spiritual successor and I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

I remember that all those thoughts were dashed away in an instant the first time I booted up that game on my Sony Playstation. The music that plays in the intro of the game is called "Scars of Time" and you are instantly swept up in it. Created by Yasunori Mitsuda, composer of hit games like Xenogears and Chrono Trigger itself, "Scars of Time" takes you on an emotional roller coaster and coupled with the exciting video montage from the game I knew in a matter of moments that I was going to enjoy Chrono Cross.

And I'm not even here to talk about that song! It's far from mellow, but you should most definitely check it out.

It's been about 15 years since I've played Chrono Cross, and the details are a little hazy, but I believe "On the Beach of Dreams" is the main theme for the world map in Another World. If you want to know what I mean, you'll have to play the game!

It's an incredibly soothing piece comprised mostly of guitar and violin, but most definitely captures the feel and beauty of El Nido and the world of Chrono Cross.

1. "Aquatic Ambiance" - Donkey Kong Country (SNES) - David Wise

There are a lot of songs from video games that hold a very dear place in my heart, but I don't know if any hold a candle to "Aquatic Ambiance". The instant I hear it I'm drawn back to another time and place; to my Mom and Dad's house in 1994, a cold, wintry setting outside, the houses on the street lit up with Christmas lights, and my little sister and I warm in my bedroom wiling away the evening playing Donkey Kong Country on my Super Nintendo.

The soundtrack to DKC, by composer David Wise, stood out for me as something I'd never heard before in a video game. He so perfectly captured each setting in the game with a different theme; in the mines everything is industrial, in the cold, mountain settings the music is desolate and foreboding, and in the underwater, swimming stages you have "Aquatic Ambiance", which perfectly captures the quiet of the deeps and its constant ebb and flow.

I have such an attachment to this song that I can often have different reactions upon hearing it, depending on my mood. I listen to it almost every day while I work and it has an instant calming effect, but also some times it can play on my nostalgia and make me very homesick for those old days back at my Mom and Dad's without a care in the world.

Best Female Vocalists: Favourite Voice Edition

In the world of music I think my tastes can be pretty varied. I like lots of bands and solo artists from lots of different genres. While I'm not nearly as eclectic in this as, say, Shane, I still think it's a fair statement. That said, if you were to take gender and suddenly make it a relevant detail within the musical spectrum, then suddenly my tastes don't appear all that varied at all, particularly with regards to singers. My favourite singers, an overwhelming amount of them in fact, are male.

Now I don't believe there are any deep-seated meanings to be found behind that fact. If you do, feel free to continue believing it, but I have no plans to delve into or dwell on it. Instead I thought something I could do here is celebrate those female vocalists whom I truly do adore. I can assure you that despite my earlier comment, the five on this list represent only a few of the female singers I'm a fan of. I decided to strip things down and make them as simple as possible for the criteria: I'd select those women whose voices I like the most. While it's true a prerequisite for this was also producing music I actually like, it's still less important than the first issue.

And with THAT SAID, I'll also point out that in this life so far I believe I have encountered two perfect human voices, one for each sex. These voices are pleasing to me when raised in song but also when simply engaged in normal everyday speaking as well. For the record, those two are David Usher and Mandy Moore, both of whom I would be content to listen to reading the phone book. But since Moore hasn't really produced a body of work that I like so much, she won't make this list even though I've already deemed her voice as "perfect". Maybe that's weird, I don't know, but it's how I've decided to proceed.

5. Holly McNarland
I think it took seeing McNarland live to really drive home to me just what an incredible voice she has. Some of the details of that experience can be found on this list from several years ago. And as I mentioned in that list, it was her set's opening song, "Water", that was the real vocal showcase. I still can't get over how powerful she is. She may be no taller than 5'2 but she has one big voice.

But she sounds great when performing less bombastic material as well. For songs like "Elmo", in the verses anyway, she has a delivery that reminds me a lot of Ani Difranco. Quick and biting. When her lyrics are dark and/or sarcastic, you can really feel that. I don't think there are a lot of singers who can pull that off. For something more heartfelt and emotional, check out "Beautiful Blue".

McNarland has a voice that reminds me of an elastic band with the way it stretches and bends. But never breaks.

4. Amy Milan
This list is dominated by Canadians which you might take as a sign that I just don't look very hard for material and I'm simply presenting what I know best. Not so, I can assure you. It's not laziness or nationalism or any lack of experience. It just is what it is.

Here we have indie rock darling, Amy Milan. A sometimes solo artist but probably known best for her work in bands Broken Social Scene and Stars. It's mostly for her Stars content that I'm putting her here. Her voice has an almost ethereal quality to it that makes me feel extremely peaceful.  No matter the content of the song, there's just something about her vocal delivery that makes me feel a little less pessimistic (to say "a little more optimistic" would be going too far). It also possesses an innocence that helps make certain lyrics come across much better. I don't know how many singers, female or male, could sing lines like "After I am caught, touch turns into fisticuffs" ("Fixed") and not sound silly.

My heart always breaks a little every time I hear her croon: "I dreamed I was dying as I so often do, and when I awoke I was sure it was true" ("Calendar Girl"), not because it sounds sad to me but because it makes me wonder if this is the female version of myself that never was, somehow loosed upon this world in comic book parallel universe fashion, reaching out to me.

3. Plumb (Tiffany Arbuckle Lee)
Well before Amy Lee of Evanescence fame was crowned the goth princess of alternate rock, there was Plumb. Which is something Amy Lee herself is well aware of. The fact is Plumb was someone she looked up to and wanted to emulate. Well, mission accomplished. I'm not saying Lee is just some poor imitation - I even like some of the music she's produced and she's certainly a very talented vocalist - just pointing out Plumb did it first and, in my opinion, does it better.

How highly do I think of Plumb's voice? Highly enough to not even mind the Christian themes and messages found in many of her lyrics. At the very least they're not preachy and exclusive. There's nothing about saying there's a God that loves us all that's offensive to me and that's pretty much all that's really expressed in her songs that are more religious in tone. And lots of songs don't contain any such lyrics at all. Anyway, I realize that by saying that stuff isn't a big deal, I kind of have inadvertently made it into one so let's talk about her voice.

It is a little tricky sometimes to describe such things as singing voices in words but if I had to pick just one to sum up Plumb, it would be "warmth". As this list will reveal, one kind of female vocalist I really can't stand is the kind that seems to just try to imitate males. I know that's kind of an iffy statement and I don't mean to come across as sexist. But I just prefer female singers who embrace their femininity and channel it into their vocals. I'm not saying a female singer can't be edgy or raunchy or whatever in her vocal delivery, I'm not saying things like hard rock and metal vocals should be left to men. All I'm saying is Plumb knows her vocal capabilities and strengths and employs them in her music wholesale. As with Milan, I would apply the term "ethereal" to Plumb's voice. I guess it's pretty clear that's the kind of thing I like. But there's also a versatility there that allows for some very powerful songs ("Better" comes to mind).

Probably my favourite vocal moments can be found in the electronica-esque "Damaged", which, incidentally, is the first Plumb song I've ever heard.  Her delivery there is so spellbinding to me that it's almost hypnotic. One of the very few songs that can put me in a sort of trance.

2. Lights (Valerie Anne Poxietner)
Speaking of "electronica-esque", here's the artist who is entirely responsible for me discovering the genre of "electropop" to actually be to my liking. In some cases anyway. She's also partially responsible for giving me some faith that there are indeed some artists out there producing music that can be heard on Much Music as well as many radio stations that aren't completely fucking terrible.

Several years ago after another sleepless night, sometime between I think seven-thirty and eighty-thirty am, I turned on my tv because I guess I was completely out of other options at that point. I turned to Much because the guide actually said a word that had all but disappeared from programming in recent years: "videoflow". So I decided to see what videos were current. After watching about three (and WAY too many commercials), what looked at first like just another pop video started, with an absolutely gorgeous girl playing around with paint. I'll admit that at first, that was all that grabbed my attention. To call Lights stunning is probably an understatement by most aesthetic standards.

The video was for a song called "Second Go", and yes, it was hot. But...I found I really liked the song too. And that voice - it sounded...almost like the way I WANTED  female vocalists to sound but had never actually heard until that moment. Is that going a bit too far? Probably. But still, it was a pretty big "wow moment" for me and I wanted to get that across. Soon after I would do a little research through youtube and such and the more I learned, the more I liked.

Conversely, I can completely understand where people who hate Lights's voice and vocal style are coming from. They might call it "whiny" or "squeaky" or something and accuse me of only liking female singers who sound like "little girls" rather than "real women". I can understand it but beyond that, I don't really care.

Lights doesn't just sound good with electronic instruments either. Many songs rely heavily on simple acoustic guitars or traditional piano. I actually prefer the scaled down, piano version of "Pretend" to the original. Not sure how to end here so I'll just ask: How catchy is "Up We Go"?

1. Utada Hikaru
Proof that to appreciate a singing voice, always understanding the language it performs in isn't necessary abounds. My own personal proof is Utada Hikaru, J-Pop idol supreme.

Maybe it's because I've reached the end of the list and haven't completed any in awhile that I really don't feel like being articulate anymore. So let's try this: 2002. Kingdom Hearts. Internet. Always heard similar stuff in anime. Absolutely gorgeous. A sprinkling of English language covers. Writes a lot of her own material. Can actually play several instruments. Voice of an angel. Complete infatuation. Fin.

Give "Sakura Nagashi" a listen and tell me I'm wrong.

Must Listen K-Pop Songs of 2014

Today's list serves two purposes: to introduce you to songs you would never have listened to otherwise, and to acknowledge one of my guiltiest pleasures ... K-Pop music. Even though I lived in Seoul for over three years, it wasn't until I returned to Canada that this unexpected obsession began to form. I became drawn to the hypnotic and polished music videos, the vibrant enthusiasm of the performances, and all the absurd details that add charm.

Let it be known that this list is not strictly for the pop genre. While some of my choices here lean more into R&B, hip-hop, and so on, I'm using K-Pop as a blanket term for any popular songs from Korea, regardless of genre. So, open your mind and ears, grab some headphones, and let's get to it.

5. Hi Suhyun - "I'm Different"

Our first song is collaboration between Lee Hi and Lee SuHyun, two talented young singers with unique vocal styles that turned out to be a perfect match. There is a music video for the single, but I decided to post the song alone because the video was made almost as an afterthought when the song became popular, and I feel like its presentation will distract from the song.

The song has a sweet groove to it and there is an uncanny 60's sound to this catchy beat. It doesn't feel overproduced, and the vocals really shine. If you enjoy the vintage sound, you may soon find this on a loop in your playlist.

4. Dynamic Duo - "Summer Time"

Comprised of Choiza and Gaeko, this hip-hop duo has been making sick music for over a decade. When I stumbled upon Dynamic Duo it was a goldmine of incredible songs and collaborations with a wide array of talented artists. "Summer Time" is a good example of their often playful style.

I love the neon hues of the music video and that it looks like some cartoonish detective show where the two members are playing every character. I couldn't say what story they're trying to tell or why it appears to be an endorsement of Dunkin Donuts besides the fact that they share initials. The song is compelling nonetheless. If you find yourself rocking to this beat, you should immediately check out tracks like "Hot Wings" and "Baaam" from their album last year titled Lucky Numbers.

3. SISTAR - "Touch My Body"

Speaking of summer, in July this excellent 4 member girl group released an infectious single that became an instant hit, dominating the #1 spot on all music charts in Korea. I love everything about this song and video, from the inexplicable sax playing Korean Elvis, to the unusual trying-to-remove-underwear-wedged-in-ass-crack-without-using-hands dance move. More than any other K-Pop song I listened to this year, "Touch My Body" sounds catchy and mainstream enough to be a hit on the American music charts. It sounds like pure unfiltered joy, and let's be honest these girls are easy on the eyes.

SISTAR has been around since 2010 and are known for their signature sexy style, but here they are presenting themselves in a more playful, flirty manner. It's just a goofy summer party that had me grinning from ear to ear. After the second listen I welcomed this earworm to lay eggs in my brain, and if this song doesn't win you over I'll gladly eat my watermelon shorts.

2. Seo In Young - "Thinking of You (feat Zion T.)"

Not only is this a relaxing and sweet song, it's easily one of the most beautiful music videos of the year. Seo In Young - aka "Elly" - is a former member of the longest running Korean girl group, Jewelry, and she sounds amazing paired with the soulful voice of newcomer, Zion T. I'm secure enough in my masculinity to say that I often swoon over his songs.

"Thinking of You" is a mellow, yet emotional song about different perspectives of a breakup. You may not understand the lyrics, but the feelings are apparent, and the vibe bittersweet. Combined with the psychedelic and sexy visuals this song captures the perfect mood, and it feels refreshing. I could jam to this all day.

1. Mamamoo - "Piano Man"

I honestly can't get enough of this song or this group. Mamamoo debuted at the beginning of 2014 and I've adored everything they've put out and collaborated on this year. The group is a vocal powerhouse with a wonderful old school but modern style. And yes, a weird name.

"Piano Man" is their most recent single and it has a bit of everything. There are little hints of jazz, swing, ragtime, and big band throughout the song. The more I listen, the more I appreciate the instrumentation and cool piano licks that dance around the vocals. There's a sick rap break from Moonbyul and the harmonies of Solar, Hwasa, and Whee-in give me chills. The music video is packed with energy and it's the perfect example of why I'm finding so much enjoyment in K-Pop. It's lively, creative, and a flat-out wonderful performance.

More than any other Korean group or artist I'm excited to see where Mamamoo goes next. Considering that they're still a "rookie" group, they are truly killing it with each new single and live performance. "Piano Man" is a song that brings the heat and keeps impressing upon repeated listens.

Moving forward I hope to make this an annual list if the hits keep coming. While it's hard to find music that can appeal to a majority of people, I hope that you've found something in this list that put a smile on your face. Happy New Year!

MINI-LIST: Cole's Sappy Songs

OK, we all have songs that we're a little embarrassed to admit that we like. Many of them because they're overly sweet and sappy. Let's face it, in the world or popular music, love has always been and probably always will be the number one subject. There are thousands upon thousands, if not millions, of songs out there that are either about how great love is, how much it sucks or even some combination of the two.

So if we're talking "overly sappy" what exactly is the criteria? I'm not sure I can really explain it. But I will say I think there are plenty of songs out there about love that are very poetic and come across as not at all embarrassing. I'm talking about songs like Elton John's "Your Song" - obviously it's gushy in its way but I think most people would agree that it's also very tasteful and heartfelt. So songs that seem like that, to me at least, were not considered. I think.

But I do love every song on this list and probably dozens of others that could be accused of being sappy as well. I figure doing a list like this may be somewhat cathartic for me. And, if not, at least you get to laugh at me a little.

5. Eternal Flame - The Bangles
Haha! A chick sings this song - do you sing along to it? Yes, I always do. And how do you feel when you do that?  Kind of like a fairy princess. What's the sappiest line?  I'll go with: "Say my name, sun shines through the rain".  Remember when Courtney Galloway sang this at the talent show in Grade Seven? I do. But I'm wondering how the hell you know about it. Can you really hit the high note at the end? Of course I can. I'm Cole, damnit.





4. Your Call - Secondhand Serenade
So how would you describe this band's music? Dashboard Confessional 2.0 Dashboard Confessional is  also on this list, isn't it? Ummm....noooo. Sappiest line? Definitely "Cause I was born to tell you I love you". So does the video for this song on youtube have an endless amount of retarded comments left by lovesick teens? You know it!  Are you secretly a fourteen year old girl? Prove it, bitch.











3. Lost in Love - Air Supply
Air Supply?!?! Are you fucking kidding me? I wish I was, I really do. Those guys are the kings of sap! How did you narrow your choice down? True, it was tough. Besides "Lost in Love", there's "The One That You Love", "All Out of Love" and of course, "Making Love Out of Nothing at All". Sappiest line? Oh, man, probably all of them. But how about the fadeout which is: "Now I'm lost, lost in love, lost in love, lost in love/  Now I'm lost, lost in love, lost in love, lost in love/ Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love/ Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love" How do you not choke on all that syrup? By washing it down with a cold glass of tacks. You do realize that this one entry has destroyed all your credibility? My Internet credibility has been ruined? Whatever shall I do?

2. Konstantine - Something Corporate
Something Corporate? Are they really that sappy? Not usually, no. I didn't even want to include this one at first because I figured it was in the same class as romantic songs that aren't embarrassing. So what made you change your mind? I didn't, really. I'm not embarrassed to like this song. But it's over nine freaking minutes long! How can you defend that? Oh, it is? I hadn't noticed. So what's its sappiest line?  It's a tossup between: "It's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it" and "You spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen". So I'm guessing this one has some deep personal meaning for you, huh? I'll never tell.

1. Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
How old were you when this song was released? Somewhere around twenty. Liking it then might be forgiveable but you're a lot closer to thirty now - what's your excuse? Meh, I don't really have one, I guess. But Michael Stipe likes the song too so there. Can you pick a sappiest line? With great difficulty - nearly every line qualifies. But let's go with: "My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry - whichever you'd prefer". Another song reminding you of past love, huh? Yes, specifically the dates I went on with my first real girlfriend as a teen. Do you have any dignity remaining at this point? Possibly. I mean Ryan has even heard me passionately sing along to this one possibly more than once in my car. And we're still friends.

Post-script: Five VG Music Covers That Shouldn't Be

Like fleshy homunculi writhing in agony on a necromancer's altar, here are some renditions of game music that never should have been.

5. Bloody Tears Cannibalized by Rappers

4. Mario Theme on Deranged Cat Piano

3. Robo's Theme (Chrono Trigger) in Mario Paint

2. Metal Gear Solid 2 Theme on Kazoo and... Torso?

1. Chocobo Theme on Cockatiel

Unsurprisingly, the cockatiel is the best of the bunch, and even it is clearly ashamed.

Five VG Music Covers That Have a Life of Their Own

The Internets are flush with recordings of people stumbling through Castlevania's Bloody Tears on a keyboard in their basement, or playing the Super Mario Bros. theme on a nose-flute. But if you wade through the umpteen videos of shredding Mega Man, or the Zelda overture drummed out on Mongolian sheep bladders just for the sake of it, you can find some music which really resonates.

There are plenty of lists of the best covers of game music, but I wanted to compile my favourite examples of when a track is given new life through the replay, as it were.

5. Windwaker Unplugged (FreddeGredde)

(Original)

FreddeGredde's cover of the Windwaker theme has certainly made its (deserving) rounds on lists like this. That said, it's three and a half-million views worth of awesome. The accordion and the vocal layering really add some warmth to an already great piece of music.

4. Lufia: Curse of the Sinistrals/Estpolis - Final Battle

(Original)

Lufia 2 (SNES) was a terrific, classic-style RPG. They remade it for the DS in 2009, and the OST cranked the music up to 11. This one is kind of a cheat, since it's a proper Nintendo remake, but it can't be helped. This is an epic track, in the proper, definitive sense of the word. The drums, trumpet, and strings give it an intensity which (obviously) just couldn't be achieved on the SNES. I dare you to listen to this and not want to save the world, Lufia fan or not.

3. Chrono Cross - Dream of the Shore Near Another World (SongeLeReveur & Marcpapeghin)

(Original)

Chrono Cross (PS) had a gorgeous soundtrack which would be difficult to improve on. These guys start with Dream of the Shore, and really take it somewhere else with the new and distinctive instruments (although I have some issues with the tempo of the uke at the beginning). I think the end product sounds more at home in a Wild ARMs game, which is certainly a compliment. It takes a dreamy overworld theme and turns in into a new, almost standalone composition.

2. Final Fantasy Main Theme Remix (Hyadain)

(Original)

This was the reason why I wanted to make this list in the first place. Kenichi Maeyamada aka Hyadain, is a Japanese composer whose YouTube remixes of game music are quite unique in that he sings most of them (his rendition of Cyan's Theme and Ultros Boogie are also interesting). His remixes are skillful and fun homages to classic game music. What we have here is essentially the Final Fantasy national anthem, and I love that such a thing exists.

1. Chrono Trigger - Peaceful Days (lonlonjp)

(Original)

I just couldn't put the Hyadain track at number one, because of how much I love this. Of all lonlonjp's excellent Chrono Trigger guitar arrangements (Frog's Theme in particular), I think that this one stands out because of how perfectly suited the original track is for the solo guitar. He absolutely nails the simple beauty of the song. Fans of Chrono Trigger will be immediately lost in two minutes of nostalgic bliss, and anyone else can instantly understand why Yasunori Mitsuda named his original track “Peaceful Days.”

Underrated Mega Man Songs

The same songs are always mentioned when the question of “What are the best Mega Man songs?” comes up. I thought it might be fun to point out a few songs you never hear about.

5. Mega Man and Bass (GBA) – Pirate Man - “Marine Wreck”

This one has a really fresh feel to it. It’s a calm, subdued sort of tune, which is few and far between in the world of Mega Man. It has a beat to it, and keeps a pretty strong pace throughout the song, but the whispered tones of the notes hold on to that relaxed vibe.

Oddly enough it’s a water stage tune. I don’t know what it is about video game soundtracks and using soft, melodic tunes for their water-themed stages, but I love it.

This one in particular is incredibly relaxing. When you listen to it away from the game, you can hardly believe that it would fit into a Mega Man game. Go ahead, give it a listen.

4. Rock Man Battle and Chase (PS) – Wily’s Course - “Duel”

This song opens with a really cheesy, over-the-top introduction that makes you feel like you’re listening to some kind of 80s movie soundtrack featuring hair metal bands or something.

I assure you the song completely changes tone within a few seconds. 16 to 17 seconds, to be exact.

It still holds on to some kind of weird hair metal band feel to it, but in that awesome Japanese way. It switches between this heavy, high-powered riff to a softer and much more melodic touch (with dual guitars and synths!) which just sounds awesome.

This is an awesome song to get you pumped up and completely suits this game, which features Mega Man characters in a sort of Mario Kart rip-off. I say rip-off, but the reality is that all the video game companies have done this sort of thing. Namco even had a Pac-Man racing game.

Anyway, tangent aside, this is an awesome tune. Go, enjoy.

3. Mega Man II (GB) – “Air Man's Theme”

That’s right, there’s another Air Man theme! I know what you’re thinking. It can’t possibly be better than the theme from the NES title, and it’s not. That doesn’t take away from the fact that this tune is also really awesome.

I actually really like Mega Man II – aka Rockman World 2 in Japan – for the Game Boy. In the past I’ve often given up on Game Boy games because of the simple, monochrome graphics. That is a regret of mine, but one game I totally gave a chance and loved was Mega Man II.

I snagged a copy of it when I got my Game Boy Advance, many moons ago, and I couldn’t put it down. Here I was amidst all kinds of great handheld titles like Golden Sun and Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow and I still found the time to hammer out this old Game Boy game.

One of my favourite parts – which surprised me totally – was the music, and the song that stuck out for me the most was Air Man’s stage.

It is very Mega Man – if that can be a description – but I think you get what I’m laying down. It feels like an old 8-bit Mega Man theme song from stem to stern. It’s just really solid. You can sort of feel the limitations of the hardware, but the song is still there. Give it a listen.

2. Mega Man IV (GB) – “Title Theme”

I love this song, but, in my opinion, it does not fit a title screen. It always shocks me that they decided not use this in a stage of the game.

The song has a very interesting vibe and hook to it. It just gives you that amped up feel only a Mega Man tune can. To me, this is a song you find in a Wily Stage, while you’re winding down the game.

It is a little more placid than, say, one of the final Wily Stages, but it totally suits a Wily Stage 1 or something along those lines.

It has the epic touches you’d expect to excite you for the final parts of the game. It should have at least made its way into one of the robot master’s stages, but I suppose it doesn’t matter. It is still a great song, and you can enjoy it here.

1. Mega Man 7 (SNES) - "Wily Stage 1"

Now here is a Wily Stage 1 theme! I might be totally making this up in my head, but I find that there is a distinct feel to a Wily Stage 1 theme in the Mega Man games. Heck, not just a Wily Stage 1, but the first of the final stages in general. Compare this song to, I don’t know, Sigma Stage 1 from Mega Man X and you’ll hear what I mean.

It’s what I alluded to in the second entry of this list. They have a sort of specific feel and air to them that makes them a Wily Stage 1 theme. They exhilarate you for what is coming up, but at the same time not so much as music you’ll often find in the very last stage.

This song certainly fits that archetype. It has a slick atmosphere to it. Much like a few of the other songs on this list, it’s very cool and soft. It however builds well, helping to push the player on as he/she enters the final stretch of a Mega Man game.

Say what you will about Mega Man 7, but if you listen to this song, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Bands We Were Supposed to Like

It seems every two years or so another band comes out of no where that the music media picks as the next big thing.  Thus they spend all their energy through glowing reviews and articles trying to convince us, the music loving public, that we should really be into this band. Now of course sometimes they're right, or at the very least partly right. Sometimes these groups that they hype up actually turn out to be decent if not pretty good.

Music is a subjective thing and it's harsh to completely attack a music journalist for his or her own personal views of a band. But so often it seems that legions of music journalists all pick the same band to trumpet and just as often it's simply unfolded like some sort of conspiracy. The band, for all its sparkling praise on music websites and in magazines, is really nothing special if not downright crap. (Kings Of Leon, I'm looking at you) Here are a few of those bands whose overblown hype has especially annoyed me over the years.

 5. Death Cab For Cutie
From 1997 through 2003, Death Cab quietly went about their business, releasing three albums to little fanfare. The group originally began as a solo project by vocalist/guitarist Ben Gibbard while he was still a member of the band Pinwheel. While it's true that the band's very first EP, Something About Airplanes was favourably received in the independent music scene, it's also fair to say they hardly made a blip on the radar. Over the next few years, the band changed drummers twice and released two more recordings: We Have The Facts And We're Voting Yes in 2000 and The Photo Album in 2001. The group would go on their first national tour across the U.S. in 2000 but they were hardly a big name at the time.

Things would begin to change towards the end of 2003 with the release of the album Transatlanticism. Teen drama The O.C. used a couple songs from the album and Six Feet Under, CSI: Miami and Californication soon followed. This got them noticed, the album started selling and soon they were signed to Atlantic records on November of 2004. Their followup to Transatlanticism and first release on a major record label, Plans, was highly anticipated and came out in 2005 and reached Gold status by 2006 - the same year I started hearing about them. They played on Saturday Night Live and began campaigning loudly for PETA. Their 2008 followup,  Narrow Stairs, while representing a strong departure from their earlier style, was eaten up by critics and many even touted it as the album of the year.

Death Cab For Cutie certainly aren't a bad band by any stretch but Gibbard's supposedly "earnest" vocal style really grates on me and their melodies come across as overly simple. Sometimes when a song reaches its "C" part it just sounds like a mash of "A" and "B". Again, it's difficult to pinpoint what exactly it is about their music that bothers me but I wouldn't complain nearly so much if they didn't have so much critical and commercial success.


4. Modest Mouse

 Formed way back in 1993, Modest Mouse underwent multiple personnel changes and released three records before their fourth, Good News for People Who Love Bad News, went platinum and put them on the map in 2004. This was particularly due to the success of the record's two singles "Float On" and "Ocean Breathes Salty". For the rest of that year, you really couldn't go anywhere without hearing these songs, particularly the catchy "Float On", a song whose repetitiveness still drives me crazy.

The success of Good News for People Who Love Bad News caused people to take a closer look at the band's previous work and their 2000 album The Moon & Antarctica, is today regarded with much critical acclaim even though I find it to be completely forgettable. Pitchfork.com seems to think it's the best alternative rock record of all time or something. Check out this embarrassing review. Whatever.

Late in 2004 the band played on Saturday Night Live (of course playing "Float On") and the album was nominated for the Best Alternative Rock Album award at the Grammys. Their 2007 followup, We  Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank, reached number one on the US Billboard chart and the band did a tour with REM in 2008. I'll confess I'm not familiar with any of the songs from that record but I'm truly glad they seem to have faded from the spotlight in the past few years because I was sick of hearing what a great band they are.


3. Arctic Monkeys
Bands like The Ramones and The Sex Pistols made not being able to play your instruments cool. Arctic Monkeys looked to continue that proud tradition and, for awhile, were highly touted as a band to watch. They gained their popularity mostly through the Internet, actually through fan-based websites. This led to their debut album, 2006's Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, becoming the fastest selling debut album by a British band in history. Seriously. Think about some of the bands the UK has produced and then read that statement over again.

It actually took them several years to release a record because they wouldn't play ball with any executive meddling, which is certainly something to be respected. By the time they finally signed with Domino in 2005, they'd become a highly coveted act in the music industry.

When the record hit the US it performed almost as well, becoming the second-fastest selling debut for an indie rock group in the country. Although critics in America were slightly more reserved in praising the band than their British counterparts, I'm sure not all the bullshit I heard about them came from overseas.

Their first single with Domino, "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor" shot straight to number one on the British billboard chart when it was released in October of 2005. It's one of the most annoying rock songs I've ever heard, so of course critics ate it up. They were on the cover of NME a few months later and eventually the magazine declared Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not the fifth greatest British album of all time - I shit you not.

The best way I could describe their sound is "noise rock" with yammering vocals. Thankfully, their following albums, released in 2007 and 2009, didn't achieve nearly as much success and they've more or less fallen back into, I won't say obscurity but at least just moderate popularity. It had been quite awhile since a band with so little talent soared so high.


2. Interpol
Another band that Pitchfork lost their shit over (dubbing their debut album the best album of 2002), I first heard of Interpol from a friend who I lived with in the Roost at King's. While it's true that said friend is known for being...overly enthusiastic...about just about everything, I quickly found that he wasn't the only person full of glowing praise for this completely underwhelming band.

A major part of what is referred to the post-punk revival scene in New York City, Interpol formed in 1997, playing in the city, and from what I can figure, Paris. My friend explained it to me something like this: "They're a really awesome band and they could have signed and toured and become really big but they didn't wanna do any of that so they just play over in France." Right.

So anyway, after releasing some EP's and "keeping it real" in France or whatever, they finally signed with Matador Records in early 2002 and released a proper studio album, Turn on The Bright Lights, later that year. Critics seemed convinced that we were witnessing the next Joy Division (which I can assure you, was not the case) and orgasmed all over the place in their praise. The record didn't exactly explode but did manage to sell 300 000 copies by 2004. All the while, music publications did their best to tell us that we just weren't getting it because Interpol was definitely something special.

Their 2004 album, Antics, achieved Gold status in both the UK and US and all over again we got to hear about what an amazing band Interpol was but it was just the same shit. How much do Interpol bug me? Well, let me put it this way: if you consider yourself a fan I want to punch you in the face.


1. Kula Shaker
Well, we've reached the top of the heap when it comes to overblown hype for a lame band. Surely you must remember these guys. I sure as hell do. It's also true that I've barely given them a thought over the past ten-plus years. But as soon the idea for this list began forming in my amazing brain, Kula Shaker rushed straight to the forefront of my thoughts.

Like in so many of my other lists, let's go back to the nineties for a moment. After the grunge movement of the earlier part of the decade, I would say that the biggest movement in rock was definitely Britpop. Stemming from the shoegazing school of the late eighties and very early nineties, bands like Blur and Oasis became absolutely huge in England and North America and, just as it had happened with grunge, record labels, music publications and fans all scrambled to find bands of a similar style. The Camden Town area of London in particular became a sort of musical centre for many of these bands. As Melody Maker, a popular English weekly newspaper declared: "Camden is to 1995 what Seattle was to 1992..."

And it was Kula Shaker that would earn the label of the next big thing in Britpop, just as the genre's popularity was beginning its decline. While bands like The Verve and Radiohead - previously overlooked during the height of the genre - started gaining real success and acclaim around 1996 heading into 1997 (with the release of Urban Hymns and OK Computer), Kula Shaker absolutely exploded out of the gate with their album K. It quickly went double-platinum and became the fastest-selling debut since Oasis's Definitely Maybe.

Their style was Hendrix-esque psychedelic rock which I guess everyone was really in the mood for at the time. They would win the "Breakthrough British Act" award at the BRIT Awards in 1997 while music publications on both sides of the pond fell all over themselves with praise. Even some rather unwise remarks about the Swawstika in an interview with some members of the UK music press (made by frontman Crispian Mills) couldn't stop the band's momentum. If anything, it only gained them more publicity. The album continued to sell like crazy while the band played the Glastonbury Festival, the V Festival and T in the Park, all to critical acclaim.

All through 1998, fans and critics masturbated with glee over Kula Shaker and their apparent masterpiece, K.  They salivated over the news the new album would be released in the summer. But this didn't materialize and so the hype only grew. It wasn't until February of 1999 that the followup,  Peasants, Pigs & Astronauts, dropped. And guess what? It pretty much bombed. Shocker. In fact the band fell so far so quickly that, shortly after playing at V99 as a last-minute replacement for Placebo, the great Kula Shaker broke up.

They would eventually reform in 2004 but by that point, I, like much of the rest of the world, had forgotten all about them. They remain together to this day and I couldn't care less. I certainly don't miss their loopy guitar riffs, excessive use of sitar and bullshit lyrics written in Sanskrit. What I don't miss most of all (couldn't I have just said it is what I miss the least? Oh well) is hearing about how great they're supposed to be.

Best Comedy Christmas Songs

Sure, Christmas songs get us in the holiday spirit, but Comedy Christmas songs achieve the same thing while entertaining us on another level. For that reason, I decided to compile this list. May you be filled with yuletide laughter.

5. 12 Days of Christmas - Foster Brooks

For nearly 50 years the irreplaceable Foster Brooks entertained the world, and made his mark in comedy with his hilarious lovable drunk persona. If you're not familiar with Mr. Brooks, I would recommend a quick youtube search and you'll be laughing all day. Though he was mostly known for his various television appearances, his take on this classic Christmas carol is pure genius. It starts a little slow, but as Foster becomes more and more hammered with each verse, there's no denying that he was a master at his own unique craft. It continues to leave me in stitches each time I listen. Merry Christmas, Foster Brooks, you're the drunken relative we all wish we had.

4. Chiron Beta Prime - Jonathan Coulton

Jonathan is an artist I've only recently gotten into in recent years, but he is quickly climbing the list of my favourite songwriters. He usually writes songs that focus on science fiction, technology, and other nerdy subjects mixed with various genres. Personally, the more I listen to him, the more I feel like he's been inspired by the likes of Weird Al and Ben Folds. If you're still unsure if you'd like his music, he did write the song "Still Alive" that appeared at the end of the amazing video game, Portal.

So anyway, this Christmas song is written like a Christmas card from a family enslaved by robots on a mining asteroid. It's hilarious and mad catchy.

3. Christmastime - The Arrogant Worms

One of the first songs I ever heard by the Worms, I remember distinctly listening to it on CBC radio around Christmas. These guys are no stranger to writing funny holiday songs, they even have a Christmas album in their sizable discography. Still with so many to choose from, this one stands out for it's energetic chorus and the delivery of lines like "Hey Mr. Santa Claus, I believe in you because, you've got more credibility that any doctor, cop, or lawyer!"

Unfortunately I couldn't find the song in any video to embed here (which may be a part of the internet's effort to keep us Canadians down), so I'm going to make you do extra work and listen to it on their website. Click the play button for holiday cheer!

2. The Night Santa Went Crazy - "Weird Al" Yankovic

I didn't want two songs by the same artist on the list, but I seriously considered Weird Al's other festive gem, "Christmas at Ground Zero" for its clever lyrics before finally choosing his other dark Christmas song. While it does make me feel old knowing the song is 15 years old already, I'll never forget listening to it for the first time and being shocked by its violent lyrics and then laughing my head off over the destruction of the North Pole and the gruesome demise of most of Santa's reindeer.

Please enjoy the extra gory version of the song posted below. I think you'll agree that nothing says Christmas like rocking out to Santa turning mad. I think you can also agree the story it tells would make one hell of a movie.

1. There Are Much Worse Things - Stephen Colbert and Elvis Costello

Colbert's 2008 TV special, "A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All" was a impressive bit of holiday fun filled to the brim with funny and well-written Christmas songs. I've since watched and listened to the songs dozens of times, but it's the final tune of the special that sticks with me the most. You may click and listen to it here.

The more I listen to the song, the more I appreciate all the different things it has to say. It begins by addressing the state of Christmas; how it's become the "cheesy crass commercial travesty" we know today that seems to be devoid of any religious significance. It then pokes fun at the importance we put on Christmas, as if it will solve all our problems at the end of the year and we will find "the answer to all sorrows in a box beneath the tree".

From there Stephen and Elvis sing of faith, cynicism, knowledge, and hopeful optimism. For me the song captures so many different feelings about the holidays and life that I feel you could easily write whole essays about it. And yes, while it may not be laugh out loud hilarious, it still is at heart a comedy song. It's sincere and beautiful, and as someone who celebrates Christmas without having any interest in going to church or being religious, it feels especially meaningful to that modern mentality. You may believe in everything, nothing, or things that are empty to others, but if it makes you happy then maybe that's all that matters, because ... after all, there are much worse things.

Merry Christmas.

Band Members That Didn't Work Out

There's more to putting together a successful band than just selecting members with musical talent. A band is a very close-knit unit that requires chemistry between personalities as well as musical sensibilities. In some cases, the more talented the individuals involved are, the less likely the chances of them working together cohesively. Also, bands sometimes include a member who has such a dominant personality when it comes to making music that it's a wonder anyone was ever able to work with him or her for a sustained amount of time. Looking back, I'm amazed that the original lineups of bands like Smashing Pumpkins and Guns 'N Roses held together for as long as they did.

For the most part, this list will deal with band members who, while not fitting in with a particular group, achieved at least a comparable amount of musical success elsewhere. So you won't be seeing the likes of Jason Everman or Pete Best here.


5. Dave Navarro - Red Hot Chili Peppers
After Perry Farrell decided to break up Jane's Addiction in 1991, guitarist Dave Navarro was in high demand in the music world. Axel Rose had just driven away Izzy Stradlin (a precursor to the breakup of GNR) and was very interested in replacing him with Navarro. Supposedly he was formally invited to join but never showed. In 1993, he formed his own band, Deconstruction, with former Jane's Addiction bandmate Eric Avery. They released one album in 1994 but didn't tour.

Because by this time, Navarro had joined the Red Hot Chili Peppers, replacing the strange and departed John Frusciante. His first ever gig with them was Woodstock '94 before they went into the studio to record the band's sixth album, One Hot Minute. This would be the followup to their 1991 breakthrough album Blood Sugar Sex Magik and Navarro's only record with the band.

The album was very difficult on the band as singer Anthony Kiedis found himself struggling with addiction once more after five years of sobriety. Writing and recording slowed to a crawl at times and Navarro was discovering that he didn't really fit in even though his darker musical influences at least meshed with the darker mood Kiedis found himself in. Gone were the funky sounds of past albums, replaced by the heavy metal-like riffs that Navarro favoured. Honestly, I think it's possible that Navarro only wanted to be a Chili Pepper because he also enjoys being shirtless all the goddamn time.

When it was finally completed and released in September of 1995, fans were confronted with an album that didn't really sound like the Red Hot Chili Peppers at all. I can recall that even I, knowing then only a handful of their songs, was somewhat shocked when I first heard "Warped" sometime in early 1996. While some critics praised the album for its new musical direction and lyrical honesty, most labeled it a dud. Fan response wasn't a whole lot better as the record was a commercial failure, despite the fact that the single "Aeroplane" was somewhat of a hit (most likely due to its being the most upbeat and "oldschool" song on the album).

The tour wasn't exactly successful either, with Kiedis, despite being sober for its duration, injuring himself several times and Navarro, perhaps not used to long tours, finding himself drained and irritable. When the tour ended the band was doing mostly nothing as poor record sales discouraged further concert dates. Kiedis used this time to enter rehab and so hardly any new material was being written. Through most of 1997 they were barely even together and Navarro was beginning to rely heavily on drugs himself. In early 1998 when they finally started rehearsing together again, Navarro's problem was pretty apparent and he was fired in April, with the other members pondering if the band was even going to stay together.

We all know that in 1999, Frusciante would rejoin them and they would release Californication which was a huge success both critically and financially and marked a comeback for the band. But the period when Navarro was a member definitely has to be considered as the band's dark years, even if it wasn't entirely his fault.


4. Ian Gellan - Black Sabbath
In 1979 when talented and charismatic frontman Ozzy Osbourne was fired from Black Sabbath, I think it's fair to say that many thought this was the end of the band. But after recruiting American singer Ronnie James Dio, formerly of Rainbow (actually on the recommendation of the woman who would later become Ozzy's wife, Sharon Arden), they recorded Heaven And Hell. The record not only proved that they could carry on without Ozzy but is also widely regarded as one of the best and most important heavy metal albums ever made. Its followup Mob Rules wasn't the smash hit its predecessor was but was still well received.

But in November of 1981, the diminutive Dio, who had become somewhat of a diva (like the alliteration?), left the group to form his own band. He took drummer Vinny Appice with him (original drummer Bill Ward had left shortly after Ozzy due to problems with alcohol). So guitarist Tony Iommi and bassist Geezer Butler found themselves in familiar territory; the future of the band looked bleak.

The original plan was to keep making music but not continue with the Black Sabbath name as I guess the two felt that anything they produced without Ozzy, Dio or Ward just wouldn't carry on its spirit. They started auditioning rock singers (including David Coverdale - can you imagine?!?) before settling on Ian Gellan, newly available after the breakup of Deep Purple.

Much like the case of Navarro, not only did Gellan's style  not mesh well with the rest of the band and its established sound, he was also catching the group at a low point in its history. Only pressure from their record label forced them to continue calling themselves Black Sabbath. So in the summer of 1982, "Black Sabbath" went into the studio to record. Bill Ward had actually rejoined the band by this point but this didn't seem to help much. In addition to Gellan's bluesy vocals not fitting in with Iommi's songwriting and playing style (nor Butler's), the production values were horrible. The reasons for this have never become clear but Gellan decided to place the blame on Butler, who co-produced the album.

Born Again received a mixed reception from both critics and fans. It was hardly a commercial failure, actually performing pretty well on the charts in both North America and the UK, but it still seemed apparent to most that Black Sabbath were on their way down. Ozzy actually praised the record but looking back now it comes across more as a shot at Dio than an actual endorsement of the music.

Ward wouldn't join the band on the following tour, falling back into addiction brought on by anxiety. Because of the presence of Gellan, the band would often include "Smoke on the Water" in their sets, which while sort of cool must also have been pretty weird. Almost as soon as the tour wrapped up, Gellan split to join Deep Purple which was reforming. He badmouthed Iommi on his way out, inferring that he was some sort of dictator.

After trying to rehearse with a new singer for awhile, it was clear to everyone that things just weren't working. In November of 1984, Butler left the band, the whole Gellan experience still leaving a sour taste. Immediately after that, Iommi put Black Sabbath on hiatus.

The next "Black Sabbath" album that was released was really just a solo album by Iommi. While its sound was an even more drastic departure from the classic Sabbath sound than "Born Again" had been, I still feel that Gellan's prior presence had kickstarted this direction and resulting disillusionment with Black Sabbath as a band. To this day whenever I hear "Zero The Hero" I can't help thinking "Is this really Black Sabbath?"

3 & 2. Every Member of Oasis Whose Last Name Wasn't Gallagher
The irony of this is, of course, that Noel Gallagher is no longer a member of Oasis, having left the band in August of 2009. Liam and the remaining members have been rehearsing and recording since then, for quite some time unsure about whether or not they would keep calling themselves Oasis. Apparently Oasis is officially over though, as back in May Liam revealed that the new band's name is Beady Eye.

Here's a quick (haha) rundown of the non-Gallagher Oasis members:

Tony McCarrol: drummer from 1991 through April 1995 - apparently fired for just not being talented enough for what Noel was writing. He would eventually sue the band and received 600,000 pounds settled out of court. Actually offered to rejoin as bassist in 1999 but was rejected.

Scott McLeod: never an official member, it seems that perhaps he could have become one after replacing the departed Paul McGuigan (bass) in September of 1995 but he abruptly left during the tour. McGuigan came back and McLeod expressed regret over his decision to leave. But by then it was too late. He can be seen in the video for "Wonderwall".

Paul Arthurs: guitarist from 1991 through 1999 - the founding member departed during the recording of Standing on the Shoulder of Giants to spend more time with his family. He was as steady a member as the band has had, usually managing to avoid clashing with the Gallaghers. He also played piano and mellotron for tracks on (What's the Story) Morning Glory? He's played with a couple other bands as well as doing some DJing since leaving Oasis.

Paul McGuigan: bassist from 1991 through 1999 - the last of the non-Gallagher founding members (it should be noted that Noel is not a founding member) left just two weeks after Arthurs. According to Liam, "Guigsy" quit the band via fax and wouldn't take any phone calls from them. It's possible that when Noel first joined the band he didn't have much confidence in McGuigan's ability as he would often play the bass parts on their early recordings. I couldn't find any information on what he's up to these days.

Alan White: drummer from 1995 through 2004 - McCarrol's replacement and generally thought of as Oasis's definitive drummer, Noel has gone on record to praise his talent. He's on their most significant albums (not counting Definitely, Maybe). He left in early 2004 during the early stages of recording the band's sixth album Don't Believe The Truth. His reasons have never been clarified beyond being "personal". Noel would say in 2008 that White had been kicked out of the band.

Zak Starkey: drummer from 2004 through 2008 - but he was never considered an official member. He actually turned down an offer from The Who, whom (funny word usage!) he played with in the nineties, to be a permanent member so that he could concentrate on his work with Oasis. Apparently sometime in 2005 he was offered the position of Oasis's official drummer but couldn't commit due to his work with The Who. As far as I can tell, he just preferred being an unofficial member of both bands to being an official member of one. He played drums on all but one of the tracks for Oasis's final album Dig Out Your Soul.

(Gem Archer and Andy Bell: guitarist and bassist respectively from 1999 through 2009 - these two were with the band until its breakup and both are in Liam's new band, Beady Eye, with Bell now playing guitar. So technically, they worked out just fine.)

1. Dave Mustaine - Metallica
Whenever I find myself thinking about Metallica, I usually spend a few moments pondering what could have been. Specifically, I wonder what the band might have been like had their first "official" lineup (read: lineup that actually wrote material that would be recorded) managed to stay together. That would be mainstays Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield, plus bassist Cliff Burton and guitarist Dave Mustaine.

Burton was with the band (and as a prominent member I might add) until his tragic death in September of 1986, having appeared on Metallica's first three albums. By this point, Mustaine was already long gone.

Mustaine joined the band in 1981 responding to an ad posted in a local newspaper by Ulrich. I think it's fair to say that from the very outset, he felt threatened by the dominating personalities of Hetfield and Ulrich. They were both very talented and very driven, and it was clear that Metallica was THEIR band. But Mustaine was talented and egocentric too. He was also...kind of a dick. In late 1982, original bassist Ron McGovney angrily quit the band, tired of his constant clashes with the volatile Mustaine.

While the hard-living lifestyle of Metallica in its early years (read: lots and lots of drinking) has been well-documented, Mustaine apparently was in a league of his own. What was worse was that he was an extremely mean and aggressive drunk. While I'm sure it's probable that his musical sensibilities were at times stifled by Hetfield and Ulrich, who had a very specific vision of what Metallica should be, there's an overwhelming amount of evidence supporting the claim that it was his excessive alcoholism and disagreeable disposition that led to his dismissal from the band in 1983, just before the recording of Kill 'Em All.  They were in New York at the time. They packed up his gear, bought him a ticket and put him on a Greyhound bound for LA.

His contributions still carried over to the album. He received co-writing credits on four of the tracks, including "The Four Horseman", which he'd originally titled "The Mechanix". Hetfield changed the lyrics and replacement guitarist Kirk Hammet changed the lead guitar part in the middle section. On Megadeath's first album (Killing Is My Business...And Business Is Good!) Mustaine included a sped up version of the original "The Mechanix" and retitled it "Mechanix".

Megadeath would of course go on to achieve a great amount of success and I'm sure you can find many metal fans out there that prefer them to Metallica. Personally I'm of the opinion that Mustaine is a superior guitarist to Kirk Hammet but that Metallica is a lot better than Megadeath. And as much as I do believe the claims that both Hetfield and Ulrich have such strong personalities that they can be difficult to work with (trying watching Some Kind of Monster sometime), history shows that Mustaine clearly had some personality issues. He actually has his own page on wikipedia detailing his MANY feuds with other people in the heavy metal community, including members of his own band.

Extremely recently, (last month) Mustaine has confirmed that his feud with Metallica is finally over, after many years of bitterness and resentment (on his part - it took him over twenty years to get over his dismissal from Metallica and he's openly admitted that he wanted Megadeath to be more successful - I doubt Ulrich and Hetfield gave him much thought, really). I guess things worked out the way they were supposed to but I'm sure that there are still moments when Mustaine, Hetfield and Ulrich find themselves wondering "what if?".