Greatest On-Screen Arnold Moments

I think it's safe to say the world most likely won't see another personality like Arnold Schwarznegger again anytime soon, if ever. I don't even know if we'll ever see another era of film so dominated by that icon of the 80's, the "action star". And of all the action stars there were, there was none bigger than Arnold. From weirdo foreign bodybuilder to actor to household name, his journey is the sort of tale you couldn't make up.

I know, I know. It's STILL weird to think of him as a United States governor and the man was in lots of poor movies like Twins, Jingle All The Way, The Last Action Hero (what should have been a tribute fell far short) and of course, Batman And Robin (you can take a moment to scream with rage here, I'll wait). But even these travesties cannot tear down the great things he did in other movies.

So together let's celebrate the five greatest on-screen moments of the best action star of them all, Arnold Schwarznegger.

5. It's A Man, Baby! (Total Recall; 1990)
One of Arnold's quirkiest moments combined with the slam-bang action we'd come to expect from his movies. No one could forget this one. Traveling to Mars on a search for answers and with deadly enemies pursing him, Arnold's memory-altered character, Douglas Quaid knows that it will be difficult to elude the hi-tech security at the airport-like Mars terminal. So using a little technology of his own, Arnold quite convincingly disguises himself as an obese woman, right down to the voice.

He's discovered anyway and the reveal is fantastic and surreal, with the fake face sort of melting off him while the body jiggles and shakes. To see Arnold, who by 1990 was well-established as one of the biggest movie stars on the planet, emerge from the guise of a large woman in a dress is all kinds of trippy, funny and just cool.

4. Assault On Val Verde (Commando; 1985)
After the huge successes of the Conan movies and The Terminator, Commando is the film that really launched Arnold into the stratosphere and cemented his reputation as a huge action star, probably surpassing Sylvester Stallone by this point. So the entire movie is just him killing guys in every way imaginable, doing it all in his own unique, macho style, spouting one-liners at every turn and piling up the property damage.

This movie has tons of great moments but I decided to just stretch one out into Matrix's subtle infiltration of fictional island dictatorship, Val Verde. And by "subtle infiltration" I of course mean Matrix single-handedly mowing down dozens and dozens of soldiers before strolling into the final confrontation with the leather-bound and not so intimidating villain, Bennett.

If you're watching the movie for the first time you just can't believe it as this sequence just keeps going on and on. Arnold encounters a group of soldiers, shoots the hell out of them and blows them up and then it happens all over again. And again and again. They just keep coming. And they keep dying. I've read that Matrix is shown killing no less than 81 people on screen. I've also read somewhere that 128 people are killed on screen with several dozen more off-screen deaths implied. Whatever the math, Matrix made the term "one man army" as literal as you're probably ever going to see it.

3. "I'll Be Back" (The Terminator; 1984)
I don't know if anyone suspected anything at the time, but this simple 3-word line would go on to become one of the most famous bits of dialogue from any movie ever and also forever be associated with the man who uttered it. We're so used to it by now but I'm going to try to analyze it as if it's fresh so that we can better understand why it made for such a great moment.

Really, the terminator's stark declaration of his intentions to the desk clerk of the LA police station on its own really has no impact at all. It's what follows directly afterward that makes it so significant. Here we have a killer cyborg doing its best to blend into normal humanity but it's not so advanced that it can do this convincingly through anything but the most basic of human interaction and conversation. Which is partly why it was so fitting for Arnold to take this role - everyone knows he can't suppress his accent and in 1984 this was even more of an issue. So it's pretty funny to have this big, really foreign-sounding guy trying to blend in in Los Angeles in any situation, let alone the situation the terminator is in.

The Terminator only has a small handful of simple, straightforward lines - Arnold was initially reluctant to take the role for this very reason - he felt he needed more dialogue so he could learn to speak English more naturally. But fate played out the way it did and it was definitely for the best. So you've got this huge, awkward-looking (and also pretty scary) guy strolling into a police station one night and robotically (at least he has an excuse) asking for information they say they can't give out. So he stares at the clerk for a moment before simply stating "I'll be back" and walking out. The very next shot is of him crashing a car through the front of the building then embarking on a shooting spree killing 16 cops in the process of tracking down our protagonists. Obviously, it's this juxtaposition of a very basic line with crazy, deadly action that makes it so memorable and great. So great in fact that the line would go on to follow Arnold for the rest of his life (he even says variations of it as Governor for California tourism ads) and no one is complaining.

2. Forget Aliens - It's Dutch VS Predator (Predator; 1987)
A wonderful combination of stuff that had worked earlier for Arnold - sci-fi elements as in The Terminator and a single hero overcoming insurmountable odds as in Commando - Predator makes Arnold the good guy again and pits him against something kind of similar to the terminator he once played. It's another great movie that Arnold fits wonderfully into and there's lots of great scenes again but let's get to the moment - Dutch's final confrontation with the extra-terrestrial predator.

Possibly for the first time we have a hero played by Arnold matched up against an opponent that is actually more formidable than he is. Even with its advanced technology aside, the predator's 6'8 frame made even Arnold seem less than imposing. And the final battle came down to one-on-one with technology mostly being left out. Dutch has to rely on his more primal skills to defeat the predator, rigging crude traps in the jungle as well as fashioning a bow and arrow. Through these efforts, he does manage to disable one of the predator's greatest advantages - its cloaking device. But still the predator comes on.

We learn the creature has a sense of honour and it challenges Dutch to a final bout of unarmed combat....and then proceeds to kick the shit out of him. Here we get to see Arnold take quite a beating but not go completely down. Dutch finally takes out the predator with one of his leftover traps but it's really the spectacle of seeing one of Arnold's characters being physically overmatched and still overcoming that makes it one of his greatest on-screen moments.

1. "Hasta La Vista, Baby" (Terminator 2: Judgment Day; 1991)
This line is significant for almost the opposite reason that the "I'll be back" line is; after playing an emotionless, merciless killing machine in the original film, Arnold reprises his role as the same emotionless, merciless killing machine but this time he's on the side of good. His interactions with the boy he's programmed to protect, while awkward, eventually do lead the audience to at least almost believe that possibly there is more to the terminator than nuts and bolts. That maybe, just maybe, he does have something that passes for a soul. And even if you don't believe that, it's just funny to see this mechanized murderer learn to speak more "naturally" at the behest of a twelve year old boy.

So now instead of just uttering the simplest of lines, some flavour has been added to his dialogue. And the greatest use of this is the spectacular defeat of the T-1000 - a nemesis shown to be even more powerful and relentless than the original terminator. Because really, the terminator, if he is just a bunch of nuts and bolts, well then, he didn't HAVE to say that line when he finally took that shot; he didn't even HAVE to say anything. But he did say something. And what did he say? The cool line that the kid taught him. So you get the feeling that the terminator has learned something after all, that he's somehow evolved past his rigid programming and formed some sort of personality.

We should all well remember that Arnold Schwarznegger is probably best known for his portrayal of the terminator and that it wouldn't be so significant, memorable and, dare I say, great, if he hadn't managed to inject some style in there. In the world of cinema, an emotionless robot is one of the most beloved and popular characters. And only Arnold could have pulled that off.

Movies Featuring Giant Robots (That Michael Bay Pretends Don't Exist)

If you've been paying attention to the entertainment news lately a small incident might have slipped passed you. We all know Michael Bay, acclaimed producer of such films as "Armageddon", "Pearl Harbour" (both of which he also directed... oh the talent!) as well as the man who has bastardized just about any horror film you've loved in the last 25 years. Somewhere in his career he managed to direct two films that were actually fantastic; "The Rock" and, of course, "Transformers".

In a bout of being a complete baby, Bay recently took a jab at director McG while, promoting his upcoming film "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen". He stated, "Okay it's time to turn up the heat on 'Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen'. We've waited low in the weeds letting all the summer movies get their stuff out. We've seen the great year-end movies, and watched the upcoming clips of the upcoming summer fare. We've seen certain movies coming out even try to duplicate Transformer size robots in their ads. Please, come on." Oh, indeed Mr. Bay. Come on. He is referring to the McG helmed flick coming out this summer, "Terminator: Salvation", which has shown that some massive terminators will be featured in this highly anticipated film.

Rather delightfully, McG responded, "It bothers me to tell you the truth. Ultimately, our large robots have nothing to do with the 'Transformers' robots. I say with respect, giant robots have been the theme of film for a real long time . So we want to do everything we can to create separation..."

Well, I'll say, with every ounce of disrespect implied that, Mr. Bay, you're an enormous ASSHAT and you, in fact, did not create GIANT ROBOTS. Here's some instances of films that, unless you live in Michael Bay's fantasy universe, did indeed sport large mechanical beings, of the robot variety.

5. Voyage Into Space (1970)
This will be the first of several entries on this list that will feature Japanese films, because, as we all know (or should) the Japanese came up with everything cool before anyone else did.

This film is actually a conglomeration of several episodes of a TV show that aired on American International Television in the early 70s. It was called "Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot". The show was originally aired on TV Asahi, in Japan, from October 11, 1967 to April 1, 1968 as Giant Robo (Jaianto Robo) and spanned 26 episodes. Yes... the show was called GIANT ROBO (and in some cases actually GIANT ROBOT in the US).

In the show a terrorist group known as Gargoyle (Big Fire in Japan), headed by an alien emperor of some sort, are kidnapping the world's scientists to create giant monsters, with which to then attack the Earth. Through a fantastic little slip of serendipity a young boy, Johnny Sokko (Daisaku Kusama in Japan), ends up crashed on a remote island, because one of Gargoyle's monsters happened to attack a ship he was on. Bet they were sorry about that! On this island, he eventually finds one of the many giant monsters being made by a scientist, Dr. Lucius Guardian. This brilliant mind of science, that has managed to create a giant, virtually indestructible, robot decides it's a perfectly good idea to give control of this masterpiece to the young child, and then the hilarity ensues.

This film (and show) has a cult status due to it's cheesy plot, look and violence. Most children's shows that were brought to US shores from Japan were heavily edited due to their violent nature, but "Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot" somehow managed to escape censors. As a result, it's a giant robot film that, although you may not know of, is still a classic.

In a side note, another giant robot that is very similar in appearance to Giant Robo is Jet Jaguar (based on Mazinger Z, which I'll explain later). Jet Jaguar was the creation of a young Japanese boy in 1972, from a contest hosted by Toho (the production company behind Godzilla). Originally named Red Arone (changed at the last moment to Jet Jaguar), he was going to star in his own film, "Jet Jaguar vs. Megalon", but after some screen tests in the early stages of the film, Toho didn't think he could carry the film on his own, and made the film into a Godzilla flick (Godzilla vs. Megalon). That's enough about Godzilla, however. He'll turn his ugly head further on into the list.

4. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
"Sky Captain", as I recall, was one of the first massive movies to be filmed entirely on a green screen lot. I also believe it was to be a trilogy of films starring Jude Law as well as Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie and Giovanni Ribisi.

Regardless, this film, "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow", follows the story of reporter Polly Perkings (Paltrow) and Joe "Sky Captain" Sullivan (Law) as they battle the evil Dr. Totenkopf. Guess what Totenkopf uses as a weapon against humanity?

GIANT ROBOTS.

The giant robots that are seen in this film actually pay homage to "The Mechanical Monsters", a Superman episode (1945), which was also homaged in Hayao Miyazaki's "Laputa: Castle in the Sky" (or "Castle In The Sky" in the US).

In the film the giant robots attack New York City, circa 1939 (alternate timeline, of course), as well as major centres all over the globe. As a result Perkins and her old flame, Joe Sullivan, end up on some wacky Indiana Jones-esque adventures through the US and Nepal to stop the evil doctor and his legion of robots.

3. The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)
No, I don't mean the recent 2008 remake starring Keanu Reeves. I haven't seen it, but I'm sure it contains massive robots. I'm talking about the original 1951 film. Now, all of you that have seen it might be thinking, "The robot in that isn't very big." Yeah, well he's bigger than normal, damnit, and it's my list, so he counts.

The robot I'm referring to if, of course, Gort. Always loved that name. The film follows Klaatu, a being from space that descends to Earth in a flying saucer carrying a message of peace to all people. He is met with the aggression that only Earthlings can dish out, and the movie follows him attempting to find a forum to deliver his message. In the end we find out that since we have discovered nuclear power and made our way into space, the other space-faring beings in the Universe are afraid. Our violent nature has them worried, so Klaatu's come to warn us of a group of GIANT ROBOTS that they've created in the Universe's defense. Should we step out of line, they will destroy Earth, so we'd better be good... or else.

Like I said, Gort's not several stories tall or anything of that nature, but he is definitely supposed to be bigger than your average human being, and I think he fits into the giant category. So suck it up, and lets move on to much bigger things.

2. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)
Also known as Godzilla vs. the Bionic Monster and Godzilla vs. the Cosmic Monster, this was Toho's 14th film in the Godzilla franchise.

This film is of major cult status, and I'm going to explain why by simply stating the premise. Please make sure you're properly seated before reading this. A prophecy is made that when a black mountain is seen in the sky that a monster will appear and attempt to destroy the world. However, when this occurs a red moon will set and two suns will rise, one being an elliptical illusion from the west, and that these two suns will fight to save the world. Seems like some deep, symbolic, stuff, huh?

Well here's the story. Several archaeologists uncover a statue of the protector of Okinawa, King Caesar (how much you wanna bet it really is him?). Around this time a massive black could appears in the sky and Godzilla hops out of Mt. Fuji and starts tearing shit up. For some reason the people that believe in the aforementioned divination don't think Godzilla is the monster said to destroy the Earth. Eventually the real Godzilla shows up and we find out that this impostor is, in fact, a GIANT ROBOT created by... wait for it... Alien apes from the Third Planet from the Black Hole. Yes, I know, ingenious!

So, anyway, King Caesar is summoned and helps Godzilla in destroying Mechagodzilla and saving the world.

Just to put this out there, even though I'm not listing the rest of them, there were at least four more films featuring Mechagodzilla, a GIANT ROBOT, that I can think of. Those are "Terror of Mechagodzilla", "Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II", "Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla" and "Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S." Don't forget the previously mentioned "Godzilla vs. Megalon" starring Jet Jaguar, who would come back in Godzilla films, "Godzilla Save the Earth", "Godzilla: Unleashed" and "Godzilla Unleashed: Double Smash". That's a lot of giant robots!

1. Tetsujin-28 (2005)
This one is the big one, guys. Translated from Japanese (see I told you, all things cool) as Iron Man #28, "Tetsujin-28" is, quite literally, the grandfather of all giant robots. If you're still wondering what this is, that's because in North America, "Tetsujin-28" was known as "Gigantor".

To begin, the film I'm speaking of wasn't released in North America, as far as I know. I think the UK had a release of it through Manga Entertainment, but that doesn't matter. The film is based on the massive anime and manga created under the same title.

Tetsijin-28 was a manga written and illustrated by Mitsuteru Yokoyama in 1956. Guess what else this guy created? Giant Robo! You get that Bay? This guy created GIANT ROBOTS! Well, technically no, but still. I think it's safe to say that they are as pervasive in our culture as they are due to his work. The manga's story was that the Japanese had developed a giant robot to turn the tides of World War II. Tetsujin-28-go was the 28th, and finally successful attempt. When it is finally finished, however, the war is over, and the robot comes under the control of a 12-year old boy (son of the developer) and is used to fight criminals and other enemy robots. As you can see, Johnny Sokko was heavily hinged on this earlier work.

This was the first manga to ever show a giant robot and, of course, became a huge anime in 1963 (which would cross borders to the West as "Gigantor" in 1980 in a colourized format, around the time of Astro Boy). It spawned a sequel, "Tetsujin-28 FX", which is further into the future and follows the son of the original boy and his own new giant robot, as well as some anime movies and the live-action film.

The story of Tetsujin-28 has inspired so many Japanese mangas and animes that it's almost impossible to imagine. The creator of Mazinger Z (Tranzor Z in the US), Go Nagai, has claimed that Tetsujin-28 was the inspiration behind his 1972 anime. Mazinger Z (told you it'd come up later) was the first ever mecha anime to be developed. If you know anything on the subject, then you know that mecha are giant robots that are technically vehicles. Human occupants pilot these mecha, which is why I didn't include them into the list. That being said, in my mind, these fit in as GIANT ROBOTS, so I just wanted to list a very small fraction of the mecha animes out there, inspired by Mazinger Z, which in turn was inspired by Tetsujin-28:

Robotech (aka Macross - film being produced now, starring Tobey Maquire), Voltron, Patlabor, Gundam, Power Rangers, Escaflowne, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Evangelion, Aura Battler Dunbine, Force Five: Aired pre-Voltron - five different Japanese shows (featuring giant robots) that were aired during the five weekdays in the US. The shows were Danguard Ace, Starvengers, Spaceketeers, Grandizer and Gaiking (US titles).

There have also been countless films, many of which are actually live-action, that star mecha, such as:

Robot Jox and Robot Wars (semi-sequel to Robot Jox), the latter of which was actually directed by Stuart Gordon (Re-animator, From Beyond). Also there's The Returner, Crash and Burn, Gunhed and (technically) the 1898 novel by H.G. Wells, War of the Worlds (although the giant robots were piloted by aliens) which subsequently has been adapted in many different formats, including a blockbuster movie by Stephen Spielberg, starring Tom "Crazy Man" Cruise. Hell, there's even a show with mecha in it that starred puppets called Starfleet (similar to shows like Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet).

Oh, and let's not forget TRANSFORMERS, a cartoon/anime that first appeared in 1984! You didn't even make up Transformers, Bay, let alone GIANT ROBOTS!

All I have to say to you, Michael Bay, is this: There can only be one Highlander. Check and mate.

Most Overused Plot Devices

I'll be speaking within the context of superhero comics, of course. And since Marvel is what I know best, that's obviously where the bulk of my examples come from. I'll state right here and now I am fine with all of these things. Hell, I enjoy them most of the time. But the fact is they're way overused which substantially hurts their quality and waters down their impact. These kinds of devices will continue to be used in the comic world and I'm not against that. It's just that I wish they could come up with some different ideas now and then so that these sorts of events become at least somewhat more spaced out. With such things occurring so damn often, they hardly ever feel special like they're supposed to and thus they go from interesting and entertaining to predictable and repetitive.

5. Giant, Multi-Title-Spanning Events
I love these. I spend tons of money on these. But they're happening every few months now and not only can my wallet not take that, my brain can't either. Not that it's ever too complex or confusing - not for me, I live for such stuff. It's just that I can remember what it felt like to see The Avengers, The X-Men, The Fantastic Four plus other heroes all interact and appear on the same page back before it was happening every other Thursday and it was cool and exciting. But now that it is happening every other Thursday, it's no fun anymore. I no longer get any thrill from seeing Mister Fantastic collaborate with Iron Man or Hank Pym. Now it's like they're always tripping over each other. I can remember when there was actual tension between the Avengers and the X teams - now they might as well attend group picnics together. It's just no fun if every major (and minor) character in the universe have all met each other multiple times. It's cool that some characters have a history together but it blows when they all do. "Cool! It's Gambit talking with the Silver Surfer! What a collision of worlds! What? They've met four times before? Aw..." We need some serious separation here so that when everyone does come together, it will actually feel meaningful and special again.

4. Villains Turning Good/Heroes Turning Bad
One's a story of redemption, the other's of a fall from grace. Both can be powerful and arresting. But not if fifty percent of the characters go through it. And many of them switch and then switch BACK. Some even then switch AGAIN. Argh, that's stupid. I realize comics share many things in common with soap operas but the whole "good character goes bad" and "bad guy goes good" really pushes them into that realm. This is a very bad thing. And sometimes a character that's really cool one way is utterly ruined once they're changed. There are varying levels of "good" and varying levels of "bad" and this is good - it keeps things from being black and white and ridiculously simple. But for the characters who really are one extreme or the other, it's completely retarded to have them change their ways. No one wants to see Sabretooth turn good. Luckily, despite his attempt at "rehabilitation", he didn't. That was nice to see. But we've seen Juggernaut go good for real and it's LAME. I'll admit that most of the time, it's bad guys turning good and others just waffling back and forth (*cough*Scarlett Witch*hack, cough*) and a good guy turning bad is a little more rare and interesting. But I'm just waiting for Jubilee to go on a killing spree or Dr. Doom to become the Young Avengers mentor or something.

3. Loss/Return/ Radical Change of Powers
Although my first example doesn't actually apply to "powers" I'd just like to point out that Marvel just looooves randomly giving Professor Xavier the ability to walk again only to later take it away. It seems every time his affliction doesn't conveniently fit into a situation, the writers just lazily invent some reason for why his legs can work again. And then they cripple him all over again. But it happens all the time with powers too. Almost every major character has gone through at least a short spell of not having any powers so it's barely ever intriguing when it happens to someone nowadays. And if they don't lose their powers, then their powers simply change in some stupid way. Did anyone actually enjoy seeing Ms. Marvel go all cosmic as Binary? Didn't think so. And isn't it totally neat-o the way so many mutants just keep mutating so that their powers change again and again? Uh...NO. Ripping out Wolvie's adamantium and having him go all feral was painful but at least they changed him back eventually. It was a big risk and it's ok that they took it, I guess, but maybe it would have meant more if other characters weren't also constantly experiencing fluctuating abilities. M-Day (look it up) took away the powers of ninety percent of the mutants on earth - how long's that gonna last?

2. Alternate Timelines/Realities
I LOVE these. It's fun to see the world we're used to distorted and changed around. Good guys and bad guys reversing their roles. Or certain obscure characters suddenly being important and certain powerful characters now rendered insignificant. Also in these storylines, writers have the freedom to actually kill lots of characters since the effect won't be permanent and doesn't touch the normal continuity. When you've got dozens of super-powered individuals engaging in fierce battles, it's only to be expected there would be some casualties. So this also raises the stakes and makes everything seem more meaningful. By now, I realize I'm just repeating myself though. I LIKE alternate universes. I just don't like it when there's a new one every week, for all the same reasons I've included on my other entries. It just isn't very novel to see some character twisted and changed around a certain way only because he was basically due after not being changed that much the last couple of times.

1. Death/Return of a Character
Not much to say on this one. In the world of comics, no one who dies can ever be assumed to be really dead. Not with the dozens upon dozens of characters who have been killed and resurrected over the decades. Jean Grey has croaked so many times it's become a joke. And some of the coolest and most meaningful deaths were totally trashed by having the character return at some point. Elektra comes to mind. I'll give certain characters like Moon Knight a free pass because his very origin is based on coming back from the dead. But even then death should be used sparingly. And I'm cool with some characters' return being explained by abilites that maybe make killing them not straightforward. It's cool for mystical characters like Ghost Rider (again, they still shouldn't push it). But how many times have we seen a character die in an extremely convincing manner like having their frigging head blown off, then a big display of their corpse, followed by a bunch of issues showing other characters being impacted by this death, discussing it over and over and coming to terms with the FACT that this person is truly gone forever, that there is no magic loophole this time, only to see said character later return anyway? I'll tell you: WAY TOO MANY FUCKING TIMES. They say in the Marvel U, only Uncle Ben is absolutely guranteed to never come back. I wonder how long before they break that.

Rick Moranis' Most Entertaining Roles

Through the 80's and 90's Rick Moranis appeared in several films that I cherished while growing up, and his characters always stuck in my mind even when he didn't take center stage. If you were making a movie in the 80's and you needed a awkward yet lovable nerd/goof, he was the guy for the job. I think it would be impossible for him to play an unpleasant character. But at the end of the 90's his roles tapered off and the only thing he's done of notice in the last 10 years has been voicing a moose in Brother Bear. A family tragedy led Moranis to retire from acting and focus on raising his children, and I can certainly respect that. Still, I can't help but wish he would reappear in movies every now and then; bring back some of the simple charm of 80's comedy. So here are the characters that showed us what a funny and likable guy Moranis could be.

5. Bob McKenzie (Strange Brew, 1983/ SCTV, 1981-83)
Along with Dave Thomas, Rick created and played the embodiment of Canadian stereotypes ... and that was the point. They deliberately combined every negative stereotype possible as a way of protesting government requirements for Canadian content on SCTV. So we ended up with two stupid brothers drinking beer, wearing toques, and spouting the essential "eh's". The skit was a surprise success and even resulted in a movie about the two "hosers". While the movie isn't great comedy, the characters deserve recognition for practically copyrighting these stereotypes and giving us a great example of Canadian comedy - the willingness to laugh at yourself.

4. Wayne Szalinski (Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, 1989)
As far as family movies go, this is essential viewing (you can skip the three sequels). Rick plays a scientist who builds a Shrinking machine in his attic (how cool is that?) and when it unexpectedly starts working the machine shrinks both his two kids, and two neighbour kids. Without realizing, Szalinski sweeps up the children and throws them out in the trash. While the movie focuses on the four kids traversing the now jungle-sized backyard to get back to the house, it alternates with Szalinski and the other parents desperately searching for them. Moranis is perfectly cast as the nerdy father and he is great alongside the sports-lovin' father next door (played by the under appreciated Matt Frewer). A good-natured scientist desperately working to find recognition with an experimental machine and nearly obliterates four children. Sounds entertaining to me.

3. Louis Tully (Ghostbusters, 1984)
In one of the best movies of the 80's and one of the greatest comedies of all time, Moranis plays nerdy accountant and neighbor, Louis Tully. Although he's essentially a secondary character, he steals the show at times when he is unexpectedly pulled into the paranormal mayhem of the movie. It's hilarious when he is chased down by a dog-beast and possessed to become the "Keymaster", and then begins to track down the "Gatekeeper", played by Sigourney Weaver. Woah, Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver ... sexy? Well, it's funny if anything and the movie wouldn't have been the same without him.

2. Dark Helmet (Spaceballs, 1987)
Okay...for starters, this character is hilarious without him even opening his mouth. Rick Moranis fused with Darth Vader is awesome. That's like combining Voldemort with Gilbert Gottfried. He's a bumbling villain who is always trying strike fear in his enemies, but can barely manage to breathe in his oversized helmet. There are so many great scenes with this character, like when he launches the ship into ludicrous speed, plays with his dolls, and has a light saber duel with Lone starr. Moranis was the ideal choice to play the evil pipsqueak commander, and his lines are among the funniest. I dare you not to laugh when he curses in this film ("Come back, you fat, bearded bitch!").

1. Seymour Krelborn (Little Shop of Horrors, 1986)
One of the strangest musicals, hell, strangest things ever put on the screen. Despite having watched this film dozens of times, I still have trouble wrapping my head around how a film like this can even exist. Rick plays Seymour Krelborn, a poor timid guy who was raised as an orphan by a florist in run-down city neighborhood. He works and lives in the crummy shop, secretly longing to be with the shop assistant, Audrey, and working on raising exotic plants. He comes across a strange plant that grows rapidly when fed blood, and soon things get out of hand. And it's a musical! Seymour is a great character, a true underdog who is pushed around his whole life, and somehow ends up with the girl and being a hero. Even though he participates in some dark activities in the film, you still can't fault him, because his intentions are always sincere. Moranis sings surprisingly well and it's pure entertainment when he breaks into song with a giant man-eating plant. Basically Seymour sums up the style of Rick's acting and the characters he portrays; a simple kind-hearted guy who often finds himself in difficult situations, yet never gives up. You can't help but root for that.

Cole's Favourite Flops

Everyone likes at least a few movies that aren't considered popular by the world at large. Lots of people, like myself, like many many movies that aren't popular. But this list is going to cover those movies which may have eventually found some popularity with some audience. The criteria here is simply based on the film's initial success (or lack thereof) at the box office. Just like tons of awful movies are big hits in theatres due to factors such as their marketing campaign or expectations based on the subject matter or cast or whatever. And it works the other way with good movies that bombed initially. While I don't think any of these movies were necessarily overwhelming financial disasters, I know that they were far from hits when they first were released.

Note* Blade Runner is technically my favourite flop of all time but while it was definitely a disappointment at the box office, it actually enjoyed at least a moderately successful opening weekend most likely due to Harrison Ford's star power at the time. When I wrote this list I felt this was enough to keep Blade Runner off it although it was technically a theatrical flop.

5. The Frighteners (1996)
Peter Jackson co-wrote this one with his wife and Robert Zemeckis was slated to direct. But I guess as the project evolved, Zemeckis decided Jackson would be better suited to direct and fell back into the role of producer. With Jackson, then a complete no-name in the North American film industry at the helm, it's no surprise the movie didn't generate much hype. And the marketing campaign wasn't well done at all - this was partially due to the film's tone which was difficult to market in the first place as it was a comedy starring Michael J. Fox but also a legitimate horror/thriller film. Jackson would later complain that the poster, which didn't really let people know what the movie was about, and the release date, the opening day of the Summer Olympics in Atlanta definitely hurt its chances at the box office.

But it's a great movie if you actually watch it. I don't know how to not enjoy any performance by Fox and the plot and characters are unique and entertaining. It's darkly funny with some pretty intense sequences. The tone can be difficult to figure out at first as the plot progresses from quirky to almost disturbing at points but I really feel like it flows well and isn't all over the place. A special treat is actor Jeffrey Combs as eccentric (and I'm putting it lightly) FBI agent Milton Dammers - he steals every scene he's in.

4. Empire of The Sun (1987)
The first real box office disappointment for director Steven Spielberg, I'm not entirely sure what sunk this movie. The performances are good, the plot, pacing and settings are all good. I can only figure that when audiences saw Spielberg's name, they were expecting another epic movie full of action. He pretty much exploded onto the film scene with Jaws in 1975 and followed it up nicely with Close Encounters of the Third Kind. The eighties gave way to more hits with the first two Indiana Jones films and E.T. However, right before this movie he did direct The Color Purple which was a somber drama, so I don't know what people were expecting.

In any case, Empire of The Sun was far from a success and twenty years later, it seems largely forgotten. Which is a shame because you've got thirteen year old Christian Bale proving he had great acting talent right from the start and when is John Malcovich ever not good?

The story follows a British boy who'd been living in Shanghai, sufficiently sheltered from all hardships as well as the local culture when World War Two sees the Japanese invade. He becomes separated from his family and has to learn to survive on his own, eventually landing in an internment camp. It's a long movie and the pace is kinda slow but I think the performances should keep people interested. It also features some really emotionally powerful moments like the kid saluting a team of Japanese kamikaze pilots. The score is quite fitting and I really believe the movie tells an important story. It's too bad more people didn't take notice of it.

3. Dark City (1998)
The best example of noir sci-fi since Blade Runner and no one seems to be aware of it. I don't even remember it being released in theatres so it couldn't have had too much marketing behind it. A year later, The Matrix would come out and enjoy all sorts of commercial success using a lot of the same elements present in Dark City. And it starred KEANU REEVES for christ's sake.

Anyway, I think Dark City is a lot slicker and more well-done. There are no huge action scenes but that wouldn't fit into its tone, which is....well, dark. What begins as a story of a man's search for his identity over the background of a series of grisly murders evolves into an intriguing sci-fi film with steam-punk influences.

I really like the look of this film and the director's cut does correct a few small editing problems while the performances all fit the tone quite nicely. It's also interesting to see Keifer Sutherland in a role that's such a departure from how we're used to seeing him. The plot reminds me of an anime in lots of ways and I ask you, how can that be a bad thing?

2. Princess Mononoke (1997)
I suppose it shouldn't be all that shocking that the first major theatrical release of a Japanese anime in North America wasn't a blockbuster. But they tried, they really did. The cast was a pretty all-star affair with the likes of Minnie Driver, Billy Bob Thornton, Claire Danes (fresh off Romeo + Juliet) and Gillian Anderson (riding the crest of her "X Files" fame). Also there was Billy Crudup but I could include that guy in a list of unappreciated and unrecognized actors.

Although for whatever reason, this movie never had the feel of other Miyazaki films to me, it was certainly right up there with the others as far as quality goes. Beautiful animation, beautiful music, a sweeping, epic story with environmental and spiritual themes AND a voice cast that North Americans could all recognize. And it still flopped. I can only figure that the majority of the movie-going public just couldn't wrap their brains around the idea of seeing an animated movie that wasn't a happy Disney creation with singing animals. But there were TALKING animals - so come on, what do you want? By the next decade, anime was much more universally accepted and appreciated but I guess Mononoke just had to take the hit for being among the first.

1. Mallrats (1995)
After the critical success of indie film, Clerks, many considered Kevin Smith's next offering to be a step backward. And it didn't fare so well commercially either. I can devise why though. I actually remember the previews for this movie when it came out and they just made it look like a romantic comedy. And, in a sense, it is a romantic comedy. But it was also a Kevin Smith movie and people just didn't know what that meant back then. A few years later, American Pie would revive the pretty much dead wacky sex comedy genre but in 1995, people just didn't know what to think of this movie.

It's not even a sex comedy - it's just...well, a Kevin Smith movie. And it's hilarious. It's about two recently dumped slacker types trying to forget their troubles at the local mall when a bunch of crazy events ensue. But after Clerks, critics wanted something more clever and audiences looking for a romantic comedy didn't know what to make of Jay and Silent Bob and the excessive use of the word "fuck". Years later, this movie would be appreciated for what it is now that Smith has a series of "Jersey" films in his repertoire, and it found its audience on video. Just like all the movies on this list, Mallrats proves a great film doesn't necessarily require box office success to be great. It just would have helped a lot.