Get ready to pwn some n00bzorz... man I hate that "gamer" lingo.
Note: Please notice that there is no mention of Mountain Dew or Gamer Grub on this list. If you drink copious amounts of Mountain Dew while playing games just because they market themselves as the gamer's "drink of choice", you are, in fact, a tool. If you drink it because you enjoy it, that's a different matter.
If you eat Gamer Grub you're just a tool.
5. Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches
Although this is simply one of the best sandwiches ever, as well as the easiest "on the go" lunch ever invented, just by its very nature it of course makes this list.
There are certain things that every human being has in their home cupboards. Random spices, Kraft Dinner (if you're Canadian anyway) a tin can of tuna/salmon, peanut butter and some concoction of jam/jelly. Oh, and honey (which can also make for delicious peanut butter sandwich).
Once crafted, you can easily eat this sucker with one hand (depending on how much jam you apply). Its portability works very well with the Nintendo Wii.
So, make sure your lazy ass, at minimum, snags some wonder bread and you're set. As far as jam is concerned, go with what you like, but I would suggest apple jelly and grape jelly for variety. Trust me, it's amazing. Break free from your strawberry bonds! Oh, and if you even feel so inclined, get some milk. In peanut butter and jelly sandwich land, it's the only way to fly.
4. Chocolate Chip Cookies and Milk
I am well aware that I am a complete child for having this on my list, but facts are facts people... and according to 69% of the food scientists out there, the facts don't lie.
The mightiest of the cookies, the chocolate chip persuasion, contains all the best things in the baking repertoire. Actually, you don't even have to bake this stuff and it's goddamned delicious.
If you were making them fresh, pop those suckers in the oven and they come out gooey and completely irresistible. Add milk and it's game over (hopefully not in your game, but that's completely possible). I would dare say that most gamers would be relishing in this little suckers via bag, however, so go for the moist ones, people. Hell, if you can get a freshly baked variety at your local supermarket, do so. As much as I like a good Chips A'hoy occasionally, if you can have them as close to "mom's home-baked" quality as possible, spring for it.
3. Pizza
Most people would expect this to fly higher on my list. Well, the fact is, most often while enjoying pizza and playing video games, one has to stop to eat the pizza. That's not a problem, however. This is what the pause button was made for. That being said, it's inherent deliciousness distracts the gamer from his/her game and, as a result, it lands at number 3.
With all that behind us, pizza is always a great idea when enjoying games with friends. Everyone can throw in a few bucks and have some hot 'zas delivered cheaply and plentifully.
I would also include pizza snacks/frozen pizzas into this category. Delights such as Pizza Pops/Pockets, Delissios, and Bagel Bites (pizza variety, of course) are a nice quick fix when you're in need of a late night gaming snack that always satisfies. I would suggest Coca-Cola/Pepsi or some fruit punch to wash down all that pepperoni.
2. Baked Nachos
Nachos can fit into many categories. Now often seen as the premiere party finger food, it's also finding its way into movie theatres (one of my faves) and corner stores (resembles the theatre 'cho, however often vomit inducing). They go great with movies at home, or just watching some TV, as well. While playing video games is the next logical progression.
I have a very specific way I enjoy mine, but that's the same for anyone. I like to place some chips on a baking sheet, load on some salsa and for cheese I enjoy the fakest shit possible. I'm not a huge cheese lover, so I'm all about that salty, ugly step child of cheese... the cheese sauce (personal fave being the Tostito Con Queso sauce). Fire them on broil for a few minutes and you've got one scrumptious treat on your hands (which will be very hot and burninating).
The best thing about nachos is that you can do whatever you like to them, much like pizza, I suppose. Top 'em how you like, but I would always suggest baking them. Warm nachos versus straight out of the bag is like having a barbecued hot dog versus a boiled one - there's no contest.
1. Barbecue Chips and Coca-Cola
Now we've hit the big time. I know this one should be more generic. The title should read, "Potato Chips and Pop (Soda for you American readers)". That's just not going to happen.
Of all the chips that exist in the world, barbecue by far outclasses them all. Many can be too sour and dry out your mouth. Others taste good for the first few handfuls, but soon you can't even stand the smell. With barbecue, though... the party is lasting all night.
Alright, I'm biased. So what? It's my list! As a kid (and Cole can attest to this) Hostess (RIP) barbecue chips were a mainstay for any snacking occasion. It is, however, one of those situations where you don't realize what you've got til it's gone. Hostess eventually folded and was taken over by Frito Lay, and as such Hostess barbecue chips came off the market. I've since switched to Humpty Dumpty (which was also taken over recently by Old Dutch, but they still have the Humpty Dumpty barbecue flavour) and I think I can say I enjoy them equally. To this day, however, whenever I play Final Fantasy 6 (3 US SNES) I think back to my younger days sitting down to a bag of Hostess barbecue chips and a bottle of Coke, while kicking Kefka's crazy ass.
The Coke was, and is, essential to the mix. They were the perfect combination of sugary drink to salty snack ratio. Pepsi, although very good, took the sweetness just a little too far.
I do have other combinations of chips and pop that I enjoy. Ruffles All-dressed and root beer/Dr. Pepper is also one that I've been known to sample while playing some games. All that doesn't matter, however. In the end, the ultimate combination of snacking and gaming will forever be barbecue chips and Coke.
*sniffle*
Alright, Coca-Cola... pony up the cash already!
8 comments:
Awesome list. The only further comment i can make is that i agree with every friggin word. there's a time and place for stuff like ice cream or ravioli or...uh, crepes but gaming is not among such times. Amen.
thought of a further comment: Let us all rise up as one and break from our strawberry bonds!!
There will come a day when strawberry and peanut butter will be secondary to apple jelly and peanut butter. I just know it!
Loved the list, and not just because I am a lover of food.
PB and J has now appeared in two lists. It must be an awesome sandwich.
Also, nachos should only be baked. The chip is infused with magic in the process. If you microwave nachos, it's like raping the chip of it's goodness.
No love for old, cold fries dipped in room temperature nacho cheese dip?
That would be a quality number 6.
That's very generous. I was something of a bottom-feeder at the boys' old apartment...
you made it easier than just throwing old food out - everyone has their place in the circle of life. you know, like in that movie, Space Balls.
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