The Internets are flush with recordings of people stumbling through Castlevania's Bloody Tears on a keyboard in their basement, or playing the Super Mario Bros. theme on a nose-flute. But if you wade through the umpteen videos of shredding Mega Man, or the Zelda overture drummed out on Mongolian sheep bladders just for the sake of it, you can find some music which really resonates.
There are plenty of lists of the best covers of game music, but I wanted to compile my favourite examples of when a track is given new life through the replay, as it were.
FreddeGredde's cover of the Windwaker theme has certainly made its (deserving) rounds on lists like this. That said, it's three and a half-million views worth of awesome. The accordion and the vocal layering really add some warmth to an already great piece of music.
4. Lufia: Curse of the Sinistrals/Estpolis - Final Battle
Lufia 2 (SNES) was a terrific, classic-style RPG. They remade it for the DS in 2009, and the OST cranked the music up to 11. This one is kind of a cheat, since it's a proper Nintendo remake, but it can't be helped. This is an epic track, in the proper, definitive sense of the word. The drums, trumpet, and strings give it an intensity which (obviously) just couldn't be achieved on the SNES. I dare you to listen to this and not want to save the world, Lufia fan or not.
3. Chrono Cross - Dream of the Shore Near Another World (SongeLeReveur & Marcpapeghin)
Chrono Cross (PS) had a gorgeous soundtrack which would be difficult to improve on. These guys start with Dream of the Shore, and really take it somewhere else with the new and distinctive instruments (although I have some issues with the tempo of the uke at the beginning). I think the end product sounds more at home in a Wild ARMs game, which is certainly a compliment. It takes a dreamy overworld theme and turns in into a new, almost standalone composition.
This was the reason why I wanted to make this list in the first place. KenichiMaeyamada aka Hyadain, is a Japanese composer whose YouTube remixes of game music are quite unique in that he sings most of them (his rendition of Cyan's Theme and Ultros Boogie are also interesting). His remixes are skillful and fun homages to classic game music. What we have here is essentially the Final Fantasy national anthem, and I love that such a thing exists.
I just couldn't put the Hyadain track at number one, because of how much I love this. Of all lonlonjp's excellent Chrono Trigger guitar arrangements (Frog's Theme in particular), I think that this one stands out because of how perfectly suited the original track is for the solo guitar. He absolutely nails the simple beauty of the song. Fans of Chrono Trigger will be immediately lost in two minutes of nostalgic bliss, and anyone else can instantly understand why YasunoriMitsuda named his original track “Peaceful Days.”
The rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated, and so I'm back for a surprise list.
Frivolities aside, and grander frivolities a'front, I love bad acting, and video games are where bad acting goes to die.
I've assembled a list of 5 memorable moments in horrible, horrible acting for our collective schadenfreude. #5-2 are in no particular order—#1 is my favourite.
(There is plenty of even shittier material in this video, but I went with more personally memorable content.)
5.Animal Soccer World(PS2—seriously!?)
While I'm still not sure where the “game” element to this game is, it is quite possibly the worst thing I've ever seen. I stumbled across it in the Tubes and thought I was hallucinating.
I imagine the genesis as such: OK, we've got 5 seconds of music, a bunch of Mexican illegals locked in a bathroom, a water-damaged microphone, and some bootlegged Chinese animation cells from The Lion King and Ovide and the Gang. Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?
Unpaid Mexicans recorded through a bathroom wall, that's the ticket. Now that we've seen it, let's never speak of it again.
4.Megaman 8 (PS1)
Just ignore the weirdness from CD-i Zelda (robbed of a spot on this list) edited into this.
How could someone conceivably have thought that this was a good voice for the kindly scientist Dr. Light?
“Dats a gewd querstin,” you might be asking yourself.
Also, how have I gotten this far in life not realizing that there's an r in question?
As for the casting blunder, my suspicion is that somebody's half-retarded uncle needed booze money, and they could only afford one take. Dr. Wahwee, it is then. Here's your Colt 45, Uncle Mick.
3. Megaman X4(PS1)
Zero's Troll 2-esque “What am I fighting foooooooooorrrrrrrraorrrrrrr!” isn't even the best bit here.
Skip ahead to 1:30.
There's so much awesome here. The way that Zero says “coup” as if it were a thing full of chickens; “Whatdoyouthinkyou'redoing?!” as a single phrase; the Colonel's resigned “oh” and his odd Australian accent.
Also, if there had been anything of substance at the end to ruin, wouldn't that irritating mechanical walking noise have done it? What an annoying universe to inhabit if everyone made that kind of racket with each step. It would be second only to the universe where everyone has to wear the baby from Eraserhead for shoes.
2. Resident Evil (PS1)
A classic exchange in a game renowned for its voice acting. While this entire scene is golden, I think I like Barry's helpful “Hurry! This way!” more than the actual “Jill sandwich line” itself. Wait, which way Barry? Through the door? The only door? The door that you told me to step away from as you prepared to kick the very same door down? That way? Hmmm, I don't know...
I also love Jill's strange emphasis on “dining room” as though it were some ridiculous conceit. I mean really, an entire room just for dining? And he's doing research in it? Oh Barry... it's a good thing you're highly skilled at kicking down doors...
1.Space Hulk: Vengeance of the Blood Angels (PS1)
My friends and I played Warhammer 40k in junior high, so when one of us found this gem in a Zellers bargain bin, it seemed almost too good to be true.
“Ezeekiel, advance to this room. Ezeekiel, proceed to this area. Ezeekiel, close this door. Ezeekiel, press my pants. Ezeekiel, what are you doing!? Ezeekiel, do my taxes. Ezeekiel. Ezeekiel...E...Ezee...Ezeekiel.”
Jesus.
The real gem comes at 1:52
“I haven't found!!!! ... an ARCHIVED RECORD.”
Existential angst quickly turns to bitterness here. The opening delivery is one of deep insecurity. Oh God! What's wrong with me? I just turned a bulkhead full of Tyranid Genestealers into chili con carne, but I can't find a measly archived record... But watch as the treasured artifact quickly becomes an object of scorn and derision—“archived record” drawn out and said with a clenched fist. You did this to me! It's your fault! You goddamned archived record!
The delivery reminds me of a skit Shane found years ago where someone edited together clips of Lawrence Olivier's voice to make a Coca-Cola commercial... "But if I were... ALIVE!"
Anyway, that's all for me, folks. I guess I'll be back in a few years... :P
Like Cole, I also couldn't muster a Christmas-themed list, but thought this bit of escapism would be a fitting winter list at least.
Happy New Year!
5. Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (Atlus, 2004)
Megami Tensei is a long running series of games in Japan and Nocturne was the first North American release under the title. I came across this game completely by accident when my old roommate, who was a manager at EB, brought home new games almost weekly. The concept of Nocturne might be described as Pokémon in Pandemonium. You play as a high school student who accidentally interrupts a cult leader who is using the power of an ancient scripture to bring about “The Conception”— namely, the destruction and rebirth of Tokyo in his own image. In the progress, your character becomes a demi-fiend with the ability to recruit the various demons he meets while wandering around this occult-apocalyptic Tokyo, and looking for a “reason” to align himself with.
The biggest appeal of the game is undoubtedly in the demon summoning and fusion system, since the game is mad packed with all 150+ essential demonites to fortify your hex zone. That said the environment of Nocturne is an appropriately devilish combination of fascinating and infuriating. You spend most of the game exploring actual locations in Tokyo, and during my brief trip there in 2007, I visited most of the places that I’d become familiar with in the game — Shibuya, Asakusa, Ginza, Ikebukuro, and Shinjuku. I half-expected the statue of Hachiko outside Shibuya Station to morph into some kind of Cerberus and start mauling commuting salary-men…
The cell-shaded graphics and muted colours create a very surreal and otherworldly atmosphere in all the game’s locations. Admittedly, frustration kicks in when you find yourself lost and low on mp in the most tedious optional dungeon of all time— the Labyrinth of Amala.
While Kazuma Kaneko’s demon design is the obvious lynchpin of the game’s appeal, the demon infested Ex-Tokyo is a truly unique stomping ground.
Skeleton on motorcycle? Fuck yes.
Devil's parlor.
Asakusa — the old temple district of Tokyo.
Shibuya — teen hangout and demon mall.
4. Vagrant Story (Square, 2000)
Ivalice from FF Tactics, FFXII, and Vagrant Story was always one of my favourite of Square’s game worlds. While Vagrant Story is an incredibly awesome and challenging game, one of its biggest stars is the ruined city of Leá Monde. Designer Yasumi Matsuno modeled elements of Vagrant Story’s game environment off of Saint-Émilion, an ancient commune in the Aquitane region of France. The stonewalls, wine cellars, crypts and Romanesque churches are thrilling to explore, and the game’s sepia palate helps to create that weathered-parchment sense of high adventure.
Street in Saint-Émilion.
View of the village.
Leá Monde in Vagrant Story.
3. Secret of Mana (Square, 1993)
If you had a friend handy, Secret of Mana was one of the most fun games on the SNES. The reason this is on the list is for a very specific section of the game, which I savor every time I play. Few things are as fun as running around in the Upper Lands forest through the pink trees of spring time, and wailing mercilessly on cute pink cottontails with a spear that “balloons” them. Seriously, I could do it for hours.
There’s something very appealing about the cute, pastel innocence of SOM. From the monster design to the mushroom land of Matango, it’s just fun. This is what makes the game stand out against the gravitas of games like FFVI (although there are cute bunnies to murder there as well…) the cheerful colours and soft edges of the monsters that you have to hack down in order to save the world. SOM is like an Easter basket where all the marshmallow peeps have battleaxes.
Pleasure overload.
2. Chrono Cross (Square, 2000)
Chrono Cross gave me the context for shades of blue I’d only ever seen written down— cerulean, azure. Last spring in Cuba with my girlfriend, I had to hold back from saying, “Wow! The water is just like Opassa Beach in Chrono Cross!” I’ve always found the lush archipelago of El Nido a great antidote for the winter blahs. To be honest, the game itself isn’t fantastic. In a massive cast of characters, only a handful of them stand out. The achingly beautiful musical score of Chrono Cross helps to define an otherworldly tropical paradise to explore, but the battle theme is extremely annoying. The game is full of contrasts, but the environment and the main themes are so beautiful that it stands on them alone.
While enduring a Nova Scotian winter, with grey mounds of antagonistic slush covering every street and sidewalk, sailing a skiff through a cerulean sea looks so many kinds of awesome.
Opassa Beach. Lay down your weary bones. Hopefully you won't fall into an alternate dimension...
Arni Village.
Divine Dragon Falls.
1. Wild ARMs (Media.Vision, 1997)
Soundtrack cover art. Notice the golem buried in the cliff face?
There’s something about that way that the original Wild ARMs perfectly blended conventional RPG fantasy with the sun-drenched mesas and red rock buttes of the Wild West. None of the five sequels were able to replicate that original concept without seeming the tiniest bit contrived— more Gunsmoke and less… je ne sais quoi.
The world of Filgaia brought to life the dusty trails of old westerns and filled them with golems, demons, and the titular “ancient relic machine(s).” This was a treasured game from my early teens, and although it is quite graphically dated, the concept art has left a lasting impression. The combination of Japanese and Western motif is a fairly natural one, considering Sergio Leone and Akira Kurosawa: the masterless ronin easily becomes the wandering gunslinger. Wild ARMs’ music as well is a natural element of the scenery, and like any good game, the environment is defined as much by the music as the images. Composed by Michiko Naruke in the style of Ennio Morricone, the music in Wild ARMs is among the best in any game. The opening theme is flat out one of the most beautiful pieces of music I’ve ever heard.
I still get a huge amount of pleasure from the earth tones and whistling that saturate this ancient savannah.
As a companion to Shane's post—since I really liked the idea—these are my top five individual songs from Japanese bands. I first heard most of them while watching anime, except for the L'arc~en~Ciel song which I heard in an HMV in Shibuya when the record came out.
The only rules: no composers, and no long descriptions.
I'm sure Cole will agree with a lot of these, and I hope the Fairy Fore song brings back memories of watching Final Fantasy Unlimited at his old apartment, not entirely sure why we were doing so (perhaps just to hear what "Soil Charge Triad" would be used next, or what would become of the purse-eating, dubiously clairvoyant Fungo).
5. Zetsoubou Billy - Maximum the Hormone
Great chorus. Just ignore the screaming/pseudo-rapping. Love the bridge at 3:08 and the female vocals.
4. My Heart Draws a Dream - L'Arc~en~Ciel
Beautiful piano towards the end. Ethereal.
3. Vivid - Fairy Fore
If sugar was music. Picture dancing chocobos.
2. Bran-New Lovesong - The Pillows
Hard to pick a single song from the FLCL soundtrack. This one stands out for me. It's like watching an orange sunset from a bridge in a small town.
1. A Town in Blue - Asian Kung-Fu Generation
Amazing guitar. Closes off my all-time favourite anime Tekkonkinkreet.
David Lynch has terrified the world and charmed the French with a body of work rooted in nightmarish creeps. That said, picking five of them was easy, but describing the essence of their creepiness less so. Because of that, I’ve included video of their most unsettling moments in case my words fail me.
5. Man behind Winkie’s(Bonnie Aarons, Mulholland Drive, 2001)
So a crusty, dreadlocked hobo dollies out from behind a cement wall in back of a Sunset Boulevard Winkie’s…
When the gents and I first watched Mulholland Drive, we took great pleasure out of the creep whom Shane dubbed “Winkie the breakfast troll.” Although it was hilarious when we watched it in company, the scene is sublimely creepy when seen alone, with headphones, in the dark. For all of Lynch’s difficult subject matter and idiosyncrasies, he knows how to craft a scene. Some might argue that’s all he knows how to do, and his movies are just a collection of such scenes. In any case, the tension here is terrific; the nervous laugh of the tormented man telling the story of his dream; the sinister ambient noise and muted background; his sheer panicked sweat, despite the Winkie’s air-conditioning. As the long shots travel down to the back of the diner, the viewer is filled with a dread much more powerful than the appearance of the actual dream man. It’s quite comical the way that he doesn’t so much step out from behind the wall, but looks wheeled out by some unseen gurney of spookery. All in all, the man is much more unsettling in the minds of the audience, which is exactly how Mr. Lynch wanted him to be.
P.S. The man was also played by a woman.
4. The Baby (Puppet/Cow Fetus, Eraserhead, 1977)
“Nghaaaaaaaa!”
I love Lynch, but I can’t tolerate Eraserhead. It is just too hard to watch. The grotesqueness of the world that it creates is too much for repeat viewing. One of the worst inhabitants of this dank hellhole is the unwanted freak child of Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) and girlfriend, Mary X (Charlotte Stewart).
From Wikipedia:
“The baby is hideously deformed and has an amphibious appearance: a large snout-nose with slit nostrils, a pencil-thin neck, eyes on the sides of its head, no ears, and a limbless body covered in bandages. It continually whines throughout the night.”
Speculation abounds about whether the prop itself was an embalmed cow fetus, or a puppet. Lynch has never confirmed or denied either. Suffice it to say, the thing is as repulsive as offspring gets, but the sound it makes is that much worse. This horrible sack of deformed sickness just keeps crying and whining and making hell for its parents and the viewer. It’s as if you crossed the whining Baby Mario from Yoshi’s Island with a phlegmy salamander with tuberculosis.
It leaves you with a shitty headache and some existential angst for good measure.
3. Frank Booth(Dennis Hopper, Blue Velvet, 1986)
“Here’s to your fuck!”
Frank Booth is fucked. He’s also #36 on AFI top 50 film villains of all time.
With this character, Dennis Hopper played possibly the most deranged son of a bitch to ever grace the film. His gymnastic use of the word fuck is hilarious— choosing a pull quote for Frank was harder than the list itself:
“HEINEKEN!? Fuck that shit!”
“Don’t say ‘please’ fuckhead!”
“If you receive a love letter from me, you’ll fuck forever! Do you understand, fuck?”
“Let’s fuck! I’ll fuck anything that moves! AHAHAHA!”
Frank is a complete maniac who fucks his way (literally and figuratively) through the film, lobotomizing henchmen, brutalizing Isabella Rossellini, huffing amyl nitrate, and whispering Rob Orbison.
The “Baby wants to fuck!” scene is among the most violently disturbing in Lynch’s considerably disturbing repertoire.
But perhaps most unsettling about Frank is his love of Pabst Blue Ribbon…
2. “Mystery Man”(Robert Blake, Lost Highway, 1997)
“As a matter of fact, I’m there right now…”
Lost Highway was the first Lynch movie I ever saw, and I watched it multiple times before seeing any of his other work. What always stood out for me was the scene at Andy’s party where Fred (Bill Pullman) meets the Mystery Man face to face. Earlier in the film we see the pallid face of Robert Blake projected on that of Fred’s wife (Patricia Arquette) after some of the saddest movie sex of all time. At Andy’s, their encounter is the most iconic of the film.
Fred stands at the bar, and surveys the crowd. He spots a creepy little man in black across the room. As the Mystery Man begins to walk towards him, the music stops and the noise of the party falls to a hush. Robert Blake plays this part devilishly well. During his exchange with Fred, the creepiness is in the Mystery Man’s knowing smile and eerie calm. He grins from ear to ear, and his eyes are like a Great White Shark.
The idea of a man telling you he’s in your house while standing in front of you, then hauling out his intense 90s cell-phone and insisting you call to find out, and then have him fucking answer and deliver a chilling “I told you so” was a mind-fuck for my teenage self. The Mystery Man’s laugh is just the icing on the cake.
Then the muzak starts up again as if nothing happened.
The Mystery Man takes his leave and the viewer is left pondering cinema’s less quoted, and decidedly less wholesome “phone home.”
1. Bobby Peru(Willem Defoe, Wild at Heart, 1990)
“Bobby Peru— just like the country.”
What is most terrifying about Bobby Peru, within this crew of freaks, is that he could be a real person.
Lynch understands reality— he just ignores it, mostly. In Wild at Heart, our heroes meet Bobby Peru in a motel park in Big Tuna, Texas. He’s a greasy criminal in black with a pencil moustache and teeth like the portcullis of a sandcastle. He oozes sleaze and Willem Defoe plays him with the kind of menace that Lynch seems to like best— one that gravitates between goofy and farcical to unpredictable and violent.
Bobby Peru’s most unsettling moment is when he invites himself into Sailor (Nick Cage) and Lula’s (Laura Dern) motel room under the pretence of taking a piss, only to slime her into stunned submission, grab her by the throat and force her to say, “fuck me.”
This scene is deeply disturbing and an analysis of it even makes its way into Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek’s “The Plague of Fantasies.” While the text is here, the gist is that Bobby Peru essentially forces Lula to consent to rape, and rejects her, thereby humiliating her more than any attack ever could.
Bobby Peru is every truck-stop rapist in Texas slapped with the greasy braggadocio of a cowboy porn-star.
He makes me nauseous, and for that he’s number one.
Soundtrack cover art. Notice the golem buried in the cliff face?
So a crusty, dreadlocked hobo dollies out from behind a cement wall in back of a Sunset Boulevard Winkie’s…
I love Lynch, but I can’t tolerate Eraserhead. It is just too hard to watch. The grotesqueness of the world that it creates is too much for repeat viewing. One of the worst inhabitants of this dank hellhole is the unwanted freak child of Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) and girlfriend, Mary X (Charlotte Stewart).
Frank Booth is fucked. He’s also #36 on AFI top 50 film villains of all time.
Lost Highway was the first Lynch movie I ever saw, and I watched it multiple times before seeing any of his other work. What always stood out for me was the scene at Andy’s party where Fred (Bill Pullman) meets the Mystery Man face to face. Earlier in the film we see the pallid face of Robert Blake projected on that of Fred’s wife (Patricia Arquette) after some of the saddest movie sex of all time. At Andy’s, their encounter is the most iconic of the film.
What is most terrifying about Bobby Peru, within this crew of freaks, is that he could be a real person.